Weekly Rassling Rundown (09 – 11 Apr): The WrestleMania Hangover

Welcome to this week’s Weekly Rassling Rundown. Let’s dive into this week’s WWE Raw, SmackDown, and NXT shows!

Raw Logo
Welcome everyone, to Monday Night RAW!
  • Ronda Rousey didn’t have the greatest WrestleMania debut. That honour went to Fandango.
  • Forget Paul Heyman, Stephanie McMahon should be managing Ronda. I love how she pronounces her name.
  • Thanks to the post-WrestleMania Raw crowd for bringing back the “Shut The F*ck Up” chant.
  • Ronda needs to be a straight up badass and stop acting all humble and giddy every time she comes out.
  • I’m glad the announcers informed us this crazy international crowd will “boo those they normally cheer, and cheer those they normally boo”. I’d be really confused as to why Roman Reigns was still getting booed by the WWE universe who totally love him.
  • I’m looking forward to seeing the SuperStar Shake-Up next week. From the sounds of it, tag teams might be getting split up too.
  • WWE’s costume designer really needs to give Nia Jax something more flattering to wear.
  • Thanks for confirming Nia’s the bully, Alexa Bliss. I just assumed you were when you kept calling her fat.
  • Congratulations to Ember Moon for moving up to Raw. I’ll now shed tears for the NXT Women’s Division.
  • Coach’s comment that it’s “hard to debut on the night after WrestleMania” made no sense at all. It’s the best night of the year since all the fans in the audience are the most hardcore ones. Thanks Corey Graves for saying what we were all thinking.
  • Coach continues to make himself to stupid by saying there’s a lot of pressure on a NXT wrestler being promoted to the main roster because of the crowd. Most likely, this is the same crowd who watched them perform at Takeover.
  • Michael Cole tells us Ember calls her finisher the Eclipse. Thanks for telling us something we already knew.
  • Braun Strowman and Nicholas hand over the Raw Tag Team Titles, continuing to crap all over the division. At least Nicholas was funny in the segment, so it wasn’t entirely frustrating to watch.
  • Good to see No Way Jose on the main roster.
  • I was hopeful to see Revival capture the Raw Tag Team championship, but knowing they’re going to face Matt Hardy and Bray Wyatt shattered my hopes… like a machine… a Shatter Machine. Sorry, bad pun was bad.
  • Here’s a new drinking game for everyone watching: take a shot every time the crowd informs a wrestler “They Deserve It”.
  • “Burn It Down” is still the weirdest chant to hear at a wrestling event… and the most concerning.
  • Apparently, Seth Rollins is only entitled to the middle name of “Freakin’” when he wins a title.
  • At the rate everyone is winning titles, the entire roster will be grand slam champions.
  • The Miz is probably the only person to use his baby daughter to gain heat from the crowd.
  • Jeff Hardy gets done for a DIY, is rewarded by being put in the main event of Raw.
  • How is the Sasha Banks/Bayley friendship saga STILL going?!
  • It sucks to see Paige retire from in-ring competition, especially after the neck injury and real-life drama she went through.
  • Coach tries to be smart by telling Corey the chant the crowd are doing is in the form of a “soccer chant” from England. Corey’s response? “Since you’re so educated Coach, I thought you’d know it’s called a FOOTBALL game in the UK.”
  • Seriously, Elias is so good on the microphone. He has full continue of the crowd which is rare to see these days.
  • Holy sh*t Bobby Lashley’s back! Looks like we know who’s dethroning Brock Lesnar.
  • Seriously, who does Kurt Angle keep talking to on the phone?
  • “I hear TNA is hiring”. Wow, Kurt’s sick burn to Kevin Owens and Sami Zayn earned a “Holy Sh*t” chant from the crowd. Seriously though, that was brilliant!
  • Cole has to tell us which one is Akam and which one is Rezar of the Authors of Pain, despite their names being on their vests. Good to see the two up on the main roster. Let’s hope they don’t receive the “Ascension” treatment.
  • Looks like Paul Ellering has been dumped by Authors of Pain.
  • I wish the news articles said Brock “resigns” and not “re-signs”.
  • Roman’s only getting booed by this post-Wrestlemania crowd due to his man-bun… which means they’d be cheering it if this wasn’t the Raw after Mania.
  • It’s awesome to see Samoa Joe back, and back on the microphone.
  • Bray Wyatt has been regulated to teaming and laughing with Matt Hardy.
  • Hearing “TNA” chants from the crowd made the Zayn/Owens match even better. It’ll be interested to see what happens now the two are off both Raw and SmackDown.
  • Finn Balor and Seth Rollins reactions to Jeff, Matt, and Bray’s interaction was priceless.
  • This might be the first Raw main event after WrestleMania the crowd hasn’t shat all over.

 

Smackdown Logo
Welcome to SmackDown – The Land of Opportunity!
  • I’m not sure why crowd are thanking Shane McMahon for WrestleMania. Besides jumping off things and getting coffee for WWE executives, he doesn’t do anything backstage.
  • Really good to see Paige being made Smackdown’s new General Manager. Does this mean Paige and AJ Styles will now be fighting over the house that is SmackDown?
  • Pretty good match from Usos & New Day as usual. It would’ve sucked to see Usos lose their guaranteed Smackdown tag team title rematch.
  • Yay! Harper gets to keep his new wolf skull mask!
  • Natalya thinks Naomi winning the WrestleMania Women’s Battle Royal win was the biggest disappointment of WrestleMania. I can name a dozen things more disappointing than that.
  • Tom Philips managed to say AJ Styles vs Shinsuke Nakamura lived to the hype and delivered an excellent match with a straight face.
  • “Sorry, no speak Engrish.” Heel Nakamura is going to be so good.
  • The Iconic Duo IIconics are on Smackdown! The crowd was solidly behind them all throughout their promo and beatdown of Charlotte.
  • The cash-in by Carmella was good, but it would’ve been better to see it happen at WrestleMania.
  • Why is another former champion having to fight for their entitled rematch?
  • Pointless triple threat match between Randy Orton, Bobby Roode, and Rusev. Now we get to see the same, boring, crappy feud between Orton and Jinder Mahal all over again.
  • If Daniel Bryan’s safe style of wrestling is to stick to a mat-based technical style of wrestling, then I approve.
  • Byron Saxton seems to think a wrestler who takes a few years off from completing will completely forget everything they know about wrestling.
  • Good call to have Nakamura interfere and ruin the AJ/Daniel match. The crowd really don’t like him and right now he’s getting perfect heel heat. Let’s hope it continues in the weeks to come.
  • Since Asuka didn’t appear after her loss at WrestleMania, will John Cena start coming out to call her a chicken for hiding like how he did with Undertaker?

 

NXT Logo
Meanwhile, at NXT…
  • Recap show is recap show.
  • The crowd reaction to Lacey Evans was quieter than pre-L.I.J. Tetsuya Naito.
  • Looks like Paul Ellering’s officially done as Authors of Pain’s manager. It’s probably a good thing to do honestly. The two don’t need him now and they should be fine on the main roster. This leaves the door open for Ellreing to manage a new team or a new wrestler in NXT.
  • Shayna’s post-match interview at Takeover was sloppy. With the loss of Ember Moon and the IIconics, it’s going to be a long time before the NXT Women’s Division returns to glory.
  • Good to see War Machine Raiders finally make their debut. They’ll be a good replacement for the Authors of Pain. Not sure on the name though. They should’ve stuck with War Machine. War Raiders doesn’t roll off the tongue very well.

That’s all for this edition of WRR! Let me know when you thought of this week’s shows. Feedback is welcomed too! See you next week!

WrestleMania 34 Review

WrestleMania 34 has come and gone. Did the “grandest stage of them all” live up to the hype? Did WrestleMania outdo NXT Takeover? Did the show look better on paper?

No. No. And hell yeah it looked a LOT better on paper.

Let’s break down this five plus hour mega extravaganza starting with the pre-show matches.

1) Matt Hardy won the ARMBAR. Nothing special here besides Bray Wyatt reappearing to side with Matt Hardy and help him win. Hopefully Wyatt learned a valuable lesson from Randy Orton and repeats this to Matt… As long as he makes sure Matt’s family and Senor Benjamin aren’t in the Hardy Compound when he burns it down, of course.

2) Cedric Alexander def. Mustafa Ali to win the WWE Cruiserweight Championship. An ok match though nothing as good as their previous encounters. I didn’t like how Cedric and Ali kept reminding us, and one another, they were the heart and soul. Tell us this by wrestling and not by using your words. Now 205 Live has its champion again, let’s see how where the show goes from here.

3) Naomi won the Women’s ARMBAR. Worse than the men’s battle royal. This was never going to be good, especially when someone untalented as Naomi wins it. The minor highlight of the match was Bayley finally getting back at Sasha Banks by tricking and eliminating her.

And now, onto the main show.

4) Seth Rollins def. The Miz and Finn Balor to capture the WWE Intercontinental Championship. Great match. I knew the three would put on a hell of a show. The only complaint was this didn’t close the show. They fooled everyone into thinking we were in line for a great WrestleMania, but it would quickly go downhill from here. I was a bit disappointed Miz didn’t retain, but he’ll get another opportunity down the road to capture the title again and break the record. Let’s see if Seth will do as good of a job with the title as Miz has.

Speaking of Seth, could someone explain why he came out dressed up as a White Walker from Game of Thrones? It’s hard to “burn things down” when you’re made from ice.

seth
Freeze burn it down?

5) Charlotte def. Asuka to retain the SmackDown Women’s Championship. Yes, that’s right. Charlotte broke Asuka’s undefeated streak. The match itself was good but the ending was disappointing for two reasons. Firstly, Charlotte didn’t need the win at all. She’s well established enough to lose against someone as worthy as Asuka without it hurting her reputation. The person who should’ve broken the streak should’ve been WWE’s next breakout female superstar.

The second reason I was disappointed was how Charlotte won. Throughout the whole match Asuka was working on Charlotte’s arm to set her up for the Asuka Lock. Out of nowhere, Charlotte slaps on the Figure Eight though struggles with it due to the injured arm (a Figure Six?). Asuka, who had no damage done to her leg what-so-ever, taps out. It was dumb to see Asuka not only lose but tap out that quickly. The fact Carmella didn’t cash in was a huge letdown as well.

6) Jinder Mahal def. Rusev, Bobby Roode and Randy Orton to capture the WWE U.S. Championship. Jinder, one of the most disliked wrestlers on the roster, gets his five hundredth Singh-distraction victory when he pins Rusev, the most popular wrestler on the roster. Let that sink in, and now let’s move on.

7) Ronda Rousey & Kurt Angle def. Stephanie McMahon & Triple H. This wasn’t a wrestling classic, but it was a lot better than what I expected. Hats off to Ronda who proved she can transition to a WWE ring well. She looked very confident in the ring, a LOT more confident than her being forced to talk on the microphone. She needs a mouthpiece (Paul Heyman) to guide her through her WWE career until she’s confident enough to talk on her own.

Stephanie, Triple H and Kurt Angle played their roles very well and helped to elevate Ronda in her debut. It was good to see everyone attack one another regardless of who they were. Ronda’s off to the good start, so let’s see how her is going to go without the bosses carrying her around. The next month or so will really show us if Ronda is suited for the wrestling industry. And right now, she’s a LOT better than Shayna Baszler already.

ronda
Take note Shayna, THAT’S how you be a professional wrestler.

8) The Bludgeon Brothers def. The Usos and The New Day to capture the SmackDown Tag Team Titles. The first ever WrestleMania for the Usos and their match goes for… five minutes. Nothing special here just a cooling off match for the crowd. Bludgeon Brothers winning was obviously going to happen.

9) The Undertaker SQUASHED John Cena. Firstly, I HATED seeing the camera constantly cut to John Cena in the crowd. We get it. He’s in the crowd as a fan. You don’t have to keep going back to him in the middle of the matches to remind us.

At first Elias came out which led to Cena squashing him. This led to Undertaker coming out and squashing Cena in return (#sploosh). It was short, sweet, perfect, and is exactly what should’ve happened. Go home and rest, Undertaker. You deserve it.

10) Daniel Bryan & Shane McMahon def. Sami Zayn & Kevin Owens. Bryan comes out to a huge pop, then the crowd immediately dies when Zayn & Owens instantly take him out for 75% of the match. Shane gets in his one big spot then tags out to Bryan who comes in, kicks out of finisher, and defeats Zayn & Owens. An “eh” match to wrap up what was the hottest storyline in WWE recently. Let’s hope Zayn & Owens own Raw when they head over there.

11) Nia Jax def. Alexa Bliss to capture the Raw Women’s Championship. Another “eh” match but this was more about the storyline. What did we learn from this match, kids? Don’t worry about the mean things bullies say about you – one day you’ll kick their ass and shut them up for good.

12) AJ Styles def. Shinsuke Nakamura to retain the WWE Championship. With Asuka losing and a string of “eh” matches, this was the one match everyone was hoping would save WrestleMania. We must’ve angered the wrestling Gods, because the “dream match everyone wanted to see” failed to live up to the hype. Everyone was expecting an amazing match between the two, but what we got was something too slow and too short.

The most important thing to take away from this is the fact SHINSUKE NAKAMURA TURNED HEEL!!! This is great because in New Japan Pro Wrestling (NJPW), Nakamura primarily was the main heel. The second Nakamura turned heel you could see him immediately revert to his stiff, NJPW style.

We all put too much faith into this match. We all assumed it would be a one-off, 5-star fantastic wrestling match. Don’t be too upset. Try to treat this match as the set up to a Heel Nakamura and Face AJ Styles feud which will produce many excellent matches… Then again this is WWE and the night wasn’t over yet…

ajnakamura
We’ll get that “dream match” one day people… One day… Maybe…

13) Braun Strowman & Nicholas def. The Bar to capture the Raw Tag Team Championships. Who was Braun’s partner? A 10-year-old kid named Nicholas he plucked out from the crowd. I sh*t you not. Braun then captures the Raw Tag Team Championships with Nicholas. Again, I sh*t you not. Obviously, Braun will be picking random strangers from the crowd each week to use as a partner while he beats the crap out of his opponents… But if this isn’t a gigantic “F#$% You” to the Raw Tag Team Division and to wrestling fans in general, I don’t know what is.

14) Brock Lesnar def. Roman Reigns to retain the WWE Universal Championship. This was possibly one of the worst WrestleMania main events I have ever seen. Yes, it’s up there with Bam Bam Bigelow vs Lawrence Taylor at WrestleMania 11 and Hulk Hogan vs. Yokozuna at WrestleMania 9. When the crowd is chanting “Boring”, “We Want Nicholas”, and “This Is Awful”, you know you dun goofed. Seriously, I have NEVER heard a “This Is Awful” chant in my life! And they’ve been plenty of bad matches preceding this one!

Brock beat Roman bloody and it took him about 5 F5’s to put him away! After the second kick out, it became unbelievable. The crowd got bored. I got bored. My friends got bored. Brock looked like he was bored. Roman was the only one interested in the match. I saw people commenting about how long the show was so naturally everyone was burnt out. When I looked at my phone, I realised WrestleMania went for about 5 hours. WrestleMania 33 went for over 5 hours WITHOUT the preshow! This year’s WrestleMania 34 went for 5 hours WITH the preshow!

People hated this match and the outcome because we continue to have an inactive champion who is never around to defend his title – which was the point Roman repeated over and over. We’re fed up of not seeing a main title not being on TV or being defended on pay-per-views. Good to see WWE are listening to their fans.

In all, WrestleMania 34 was a massive disappointment. It was a stacked card full of rushed matches. I was so excited for this WrestleMania to blow me away but instead it just blowed. I even made a joke a week prior about how funny it would be if WrestleMania sucked despite it looking great on paper. I’m not laughing now and regret ever making that joke.

Had it not been for the Intercontinental Match at the start of the show, this would’ve been up there with one of the worst WrestleManias of all time. I’d like to hear your thoughts on the show so leave your comments below.

See you all for the next edition of WRR!

NXT Takeover: New Orleans 2018 Review

It’s WrestleMania weekend which means we kick off with NXT Takeover: New Orleans. The card looked to be a very solid show on paper, so did it live up to the hype? Let’s break it down and take an in-depth look at how the night went.

1) Adam Cole (BAY BAY) def. Ricochet, EC3, Velveteen Dream, Killian Dain and Lars Sullivan in a Ladder Match to capture the NXT North American Championship. Holy sh*t this match awesome! Everyone had their moments to shine and they all took advantage of it. The action was constant and fast paced. I didn’t know the match went for thirty minutes until a mate pointed it out. There were a few odd spots which was mainly on EC3’s part, but there were enough exciting moves and moments in the match to let it slide. This has easily been one of the best ladder matches in the past fifteen, maybe twenty years. It’s up there in my favourite ladder matches of all time.

Cole winning was a shock to me. I honestly thought it would be Ricochet or Velveteen Dream winning the match. Regardless, I was happy to see Cole win it. I knew Lars, Killian or EC3 weren’t going to win. Speaking of EC3, he really didn’t do much for me in the match, especially seeing some of the awkward moves he hit as I mentioned above. I’ll need more time to see what he’s got since I never watched him wrestle in TNA (or watch TNA at all for that matter). I watched Ricochet wrestle in Lucha Underground as Prince Puma, so I know he’s a great in-ring performer. It’ll be interesting to see him in the WWE and so far, he’s been a huge hit with the crowd.

I love the look of the North American Championship belt. It’s very old school and there’s something about red leather straps make it look, as the Iconic Duo say, schmick!

2) Shayna Baszler def. Ember Moon to capture the NXT Women’s Championship. Coming off a big, exciting match hurt Ember and Baszler more than it should’ve. We received another average match between the two which had some throwbacks to their previous match, such as Ember being the one to damage Baszler’s arm. I’ll give props to Baszler for finally learning about “ring psychology”, even if she did ram her arm multiple times into the ring post to “put her dislocated shoulder back into it’s socket”.

The main problem with the match was the ending. Baszler had Ember locked in a one-armed chokehold and Ember’s foot touched the rope multiple times. The referee told Baszler to break the hold. She didn’t, rolled Ember away and continued to choke out the NXT Women’s Champion. The referee allowed this and awarded Shayna the win, pissing off every fan around the world. I seriously think the only two people excited about Shayna’s win was Ronda Rousey and the Mongo McMichael of the UFC Horsewoman.

Ember’s run as Women’s Champion wasn’t good, considering her main opponent was always Shayna. Maybe Ember’s not a good fit for Shayna, or maybe Shayna isn’t a good fit for Ember. I hope Shayna’s run as champion is an improvement, otherwise we’re looking at the end of the NXT Women’s Division, especially your newly crowned champion says “I’m the best wrestler you’ve seen in forever.”

shayna
No, Shayna, there’ve been better wrestlers than you in forever.

The match was average and was never going to be anything amazing. With Cole winning and Bobby Fish not able to wrestler for several months, many assumed it was going to be Pete Dunne and Roderick Strong winning the match. It makes sense for Undisputed Era to drop the tag team titles to them, right? Wrong! Strong shocked everyone and “shocked the system” (sorry, couldn’t help myself) by turning on Dunne and joining Undisputed Era! Everyone watching collectively lost their sh*t when Strong broke up Dunne’s pinfall attempt, attacked him then dragged Kyle O’Reilly on top for the pin.

It’s great to finally see Strong develop a character and joining Undisputed Era is the perfect start. While Strong’s turn was a good highlight, the best highlight had to go to Kyle O’Reilly. There was a great moment when he took a German Suplex from Akam and/or Rezar. He got up and mildly “hulked up” before tumbling out of the ring and down to the arena floor. Going at it alone for his team allowed Kyle to really showcase his stuff to the world.

4) Aleister Black def. Andrade Almas to capture the NXT Championship. The second great match of the night. Almas and Black have great ring chemistry, and everything was on point. There were some nice moments where Almas hit moves he’s put people away with, but Black would kick out at the last second. I love watching how precise Black is with ever move he hits, especially the Black Mass he delivered to Almas when he had Zelina Vega in his hands.

This match was basically a handicap match due to the amount of times Vega got involved. She’s the best manager WWE has had for a very, very long time. Her style of management mirrors Sensational Sherri: the microphone work, the way she gets involved in her client’s matches, right down to the emotion she shows for every near-fall both men were taking. Vega losing it because Almas lost the title was great.

Black’s going to be a great NXT Champion. He hasn’t had a dull, boring match (yet) and his Takeover matches almost always steal the show. I’m looking forward to seeing what’s next for Black, Almas, and Vega.

black
Nailed it!

5) Johnny Gargano def. Tommaso Ciampa. What happens when the year-long storyline you’ve been running culminates with an unsanctioned match? You get yourself a God damn match of the year, that’s what. This match was an emotional, wild rollercoaster ride from start to finish. I haven’t seen a heel receive this much heat for a long time. The fans HATED Ciampa so much his new theme song is officially the crowd chanting “Asshole” and “F#$% You Ciampa”.

Words can’t explain just how fantastic this match was. Every single fan invested in this storyline was not let down. Ciampa lived up to his promise of becoming NXT’s most dangerous son of a bitch when he returned, and Gargano delivered punishment just as much as he received it. These two men beat the absolute hell out of one another. Ciampa’s eye was swollen. Gargano was left with some vicious marks all over his body. They did not hold back. You could feel the intensity and the hatred behind every strike and move delivered.

Everyone couldn’t keep up with the number of near-falls happening. Just as you thought the match was over, they kept going for another minute or so. I loved Ciampa playing on his knee injury. I loved how Gargano hesitated so badly not to stab Ciampa (yes, you read that right) with the broken crutch. I loved how they almost recreated that moment the two had at the Cruiserweight Classic. I loved how Ciampa tried to take advantage of Gargano’s vulnerability, but ultimately failed.

The only (slight) issue I had was Gargano winning the match. While a lot of people think it’s great to see Gargano sticking around in NXT, I think he’s time in NXT is over. He had a great solo run when Ciampa was injured and he should move on to the main roster (probably 205 Live at this stage). Ciampa should’ve won this match. He would’ve cemented himself for life as the most hated person in WWE and could’ve used the momentum moving forward as NXT’s residential Psycho Killer. Regardless, Gargano’s win was the fairy-tale ending to the heartbreak we all suffered at NXT Takeover: Chicago. Congratulations Gargano and Ciampa. This was awesome.

DIY
You know Senator Palpatine was watching on from the Death Star saying “Do it”.

In all, NXT Takeover: New Orleans was a fantastic way to start off WrestleMania weekend. Match of the night was extremely hard to pick, but I think Gargano/Ciampa just took it over the 6-Way Ladder Match. I’d like to hear your thoughts on the show so leave your comments below! 

And now, we wait for the grandest stage of them all – WrestleMania! See you tomorrow!

Weekly Rassling Rundown 02 – 04 Apr

Welcome to this week’s Weekly Rassling Rundown. This week is up earlier than usual due to it being WrestleMania weekend! Let’s dive into this week’s WWE Raw, SmackDown, and NXT shows!

Raw Logo
Welcome everyone, to Monday Night RAW!
  • We kick off the final Raw before WrestleMania with… a social media Q&A.
  • First Ronda Rousey stole Roddy Piper’s nickname, now she’s stolen both Mickie James’ hair and Bayley’s kid-hugging gimmick.
  • You’ve been in the WWE for about a month now Ronda. It’s time to stop acting surprised whenever you hear people mildly chant your name.
  • Ronda doesn’t know how Q&A works. She wants an answer to her question that she asked in the middle of Triple H asking his question to Kurt Angle.
  • “We all know how you handle losses,” Stephanie McMahon said to Ronda. BURN!!!
  • I get Ronda’s meant to be a strong female athlete, but it looks unbelievable when Triple H easily allows her to overpower him repeatedly.
  • Not sure what move Stephanie used to put Ronda carefully through the table. Could someone please judo-splain it to me?
  • Also, that was the worst Q&A segment I’ve ever seen in my life.
  • The Fabulous Moolah Memorial WrestleMania Women’s Battle Royal trophy looks bad.
  • It’ll be good to final see cry-baby Bayley wrestle mean Sasha Banks. Hopefully we get another classic from them that mirrors the matches they had in NXT.
  • Congrats to Miz and Maryse on the birth of their daughter, Monroe Sky.
  • Here’s a drinking game for everyone – take a shot when the “WrestleMania is free for new WWE Network subscribers” crawler appears.
  • Miz is happy to be pooped and peed on by someone he loves.
  • Great match between Seth Rollins & Finn Balor. The crowd was into it from start to finish. I really can’t wait to see them clash at WrestleMania with Miz in the middle of it.
  • After allowing Brock Lesnar to beat the hell out of Roman Reigns two weeks in a row, NOW Kurt Angle is concerned about protecting Raw’s WrestleMania main event!
  • Braun Strowman dressing up as his twin brother “Brains” Strowman was… Brilliant.
  • Matt Hardy now gets to bury Goldust! Wonderful!
  • Mickie James is making fun of Nia Jax’s weight, even though SHE was the target of bullying in a similar storyline many years ago. Shame on you, Piggie James. Shame on you!
  • Why does John Cena think there’s no more time left for Undertaker to respond? Did Cena forget he has free-agency privileges to abuse? He could easily call him out over on SmackDown.
  • Cena says he’ll be going to WrestleMania as a fan. I think it’s too late for him to get a good ticket.
  • Wait, Cena doesn’t want in on any of the other WrestleMania matches because he doesn’t want to take the spot away from a full-time wrestler? Are you F#$%ing kidding me?! From January he’s been asserting himself into matches by burying full-time wrestlers and taking THEIR spots! This whole angle has been stupid from start to finish and I can’t wait for it to God damn finally end after WrestleMania.
  • Cena tries once more to get the crowd to summon Undertaker. It takes him three attempts to finally get them to chant “Undertaker” instead of them just cheering and clapping.
  • “There’s your big break,” Braun said to Curt Hawkins after throwing him through a wall. 80’s action star – this is Braun’s gimmick now.
  • What did Asuka do to be teamed up with Dana Brooke?
  • Dana seems to be happy teaming with Asuka despite being choked out several times by her. The Empress of Amnesia’s streak continues.
  • If Asuka loses the tag team match her undefeated streak is over? Fair enough if she takes the pin, but not if she doesn’t take the pin. She’s lost a few matches in NXT because her partner got pinned, but her streak doesn’t break because of that. Hell, she even got eliminated in a battle royal in NXT and that didn’t break the streak either!
  • Good to see the Raw Tag Team Division was finally put to good use by standing in the middle of the ramp to stop Roman from getting to Brock.
  • Thanks to Paul Heyman, we now have the ending of Brock vs. Roman spoiled for us.
  • Good closing segment between Roman and Brock. I can’t wait to see them collide in the ring at WrestleMania.
Smackdown Logo
Welcome to SmackDown – The Land of Opportunity!
  • Thank you, WWE, for acknowledging Shane McMahon’s diverticulitis wasn’t caused by Kevin Owens and Sami Zayn’s attack. Shane McMahon claims Kevin Owens and Sami Zayn gave him diverticulitis.
  • Shane also confirmed we’re in Nashville.
  • Raw’s drinking game continues SmackDown!
  • For the past six months or so, Daniel Bryan has been coming out protecting Owens and Zayn from Shane’s blind hatred towards them. Shane was making unfair decisions and screwing the two over repeatedly, so Daniel would step in and fix the situation. Daniel has been doing his job correctly making sure everything was fair and equal for everyone. It looked like Shane was headed towards a much-needed heel turn, or Daniel was going to turn heel by saying him, Owens, and Zayn were working together all along. This entire storyline was immediately undone when Daniel told Shane, “you were right from the beginning”, and they instantly buried the hatchet. Thank you, WWE, for ruining one of the best storylines you had going and for wasting the time everyone invested into this.
  • Also, wasn’t Shane on indefinite leave?
  • Daniel says the crowd wants to see him and Shane hug out their differences. I’m more inclined to say they wanted to see the two fight.
  • Charlotte Flair and Natalya Neidhart have a good match only to be interrupted by a failed Carmella cash in. SmackDown, the land of Déjà vu!
  • Asuka vs Charlotte, another WrestleMania match which sells itself. No hype or fancy promos needed.
  • I’m extremely disappointed Jeff Jarrett didn’t sing in a Nashville bar.
  • Please let Rusev win the US Championship at WrestleMania. At this point he’s the only good thing about this match.
  • Why did Bobby Roode interfere and save Randy Orton? This isn’t AJ Style vs. Shinsuke Nakamura. You don’t have to protect anyone. Unless it’s Rusev.
  • Even though Orton and Roode are having the intense stare down in the middle of the ring, the crowd’s still chanting Rusev Day.
  • If you’ve been playing the drinking you, you still need to take a shot for New Day plugging the WWE Network.
  • The Bludgeon Brothers save us from that sh*tty tag team promo by striking the camera with their hammers and summoning Baron Corbin.
  • Hey look, they gave us J.O.B Squad 2.0 vs J.O.B Squad 3.0!
  • Holy crap, I forgot Epico and/or Primo is employed by WWE!
  • Great promo from Owens and Zayn. I’ve been reading about how the two have been interrupting live events, so it was great to see it happen on the SmackDown before WrestleMania. Zayn’s heel microphone work is always fantastic and keeps getting better.
  • Shane talks about how much he can’t wait to get rid of Owens and Zayn, but what’s stopping them from going to Raw? Dumb move, Shane, especially when you have the draft coming up.
  • Nakamura psyches out Styles last week, so Styles psyches out Nakamura this week. That’s it. Nothing more needed. Can it be WrestleMania now, please?

 

NXT Logo
Meanwhile, at NXT…
  • Poor Bobby Fish. It sucks to see him get injured.
  • The Dusty Rhodes Tag Team Classic finals between Authors of Pain vs. Roderick Strong & Pete Dunne gets interrupted by Undisputed Era, so now we’ll get a Triple Threat Match where the winners get both the NXT Tag Team Championship and the trophy. If Undisputed Era win, that’s kinda not fair to the other two teams. On the other hand, we get to see Adam Cole wrestle twice.
  • That was a good hype video for the North American Championship match.
  • That was an even better video package for Ciampa/Gargano match!
  • Vanessa Borne’s theme doesn’t suit her at all. It was kind of sad (and funny) how the crowd looked on in anticipation like, “Oh wow, a new wrestler? I wonder who it’s gonna… Oh never mind.”
  • Lacey Evans says Nikki Cross can’t do a proper interview? I’d take Nikki’s rambling over Lacey’s boring promos any day.
  • Wait, William Regal gave Kyle O’Reilly the option to defend the NXT Tag Team Titles solo? That means Braun DOESN’T need a partner at WrestleMania!
  • Ember Moon talks about how Shayna Baszler walks around expecting everything to be handed to her, yet Ember’s the reason why Baszler was handed two NXT Women’s Championship opportunities!
  • Boo! Don’t end the show with a stare down between the six wrestlers involved in the North American Championship match! Let them brawl!

That’s all for this edition of WRR! Let me know when you thought of this week’s shows. Feedback is welcomed too! Thanks for reading and I’ll see you all in a few days for my reviews of NXT Takeover: New Orleans and WrestleMania!

Weekly Rassling Rundown 26 – 28 Mar

Welcome to this week’s Weekly Rassling Rundown. Let’s dive into this week’s WWE Raw, SmackDown, and NXT shows!

Raw Logo
Welcome everyone, to Monday Night RAW!
  • Brock Lesnar shows up on Raw two weeks in a row! That’s gotta be a new record for him.
  • We’re told Brock will be facing “the same Roman Reigns he beat up last week”. Is there a second Roman Reigns we didn’t know about?
  • Corey Graves says Brock’s attack on Roman was calculated. The Coach replies with, “You called it calculated, I call it perfect timing”. Coach, that’s exactly what a calculated attack means. You really are getting more stupid by the week, aren’t you?
  • Paul Heyman says Roman isn’t man enough to take another beating from Brock. Roman proves him wrong by doing this.
  • For a second week in a row, Brock can beatdown his opponent without any punishment or without anyone coming out to stop him. Listen up Kurt Angle, you need to protect Raw’s main event at WrestleMania. Even Shinsuke Nakamura and AJ Styles are looking after themselves on SmackDown!
  • I thought Nia Jax calling Alexa Bliss, a “little Bliss” was a clever way for her to get around the censors… Until she flat-out called her a “little bitch” which went uncensored anyway.
  • *Yawn* More recaps of Ronda
  • Stephanie McMahon is terrifyingly strong. Nice training montage on her part though if she really wanted to prove us she’s serious, she should’ve replicated the training montage her father did when he was training to fight Steve Austin back in the Attitude Era.
  • Stephanie & Triple H’s video package was much better than Angle & Ronda’s. Then again, if you’re the boss you only settle for the best.
  • Good to see the Cruiserweights back on Raw. I think the match between Cedric Alexander and Mustafa Ali will be great at WrestleMania.
  • “Cruiserweights have a tendency to steal the show,” Michael Cole said mere seconds before Raw cut to a commercial.
  • This week Raw was live from Cleveland, Ohio which is where The Miz lives. They obviously love their homeboy and showed this by chanting “Welcome Home”. How does The Miz respond? “I live in LA.” Cue immediate boos and jeers. This is why the Miz is awesome.
  • MizTV this week was perfect from start to finish. I honestly thought Curtis Axel and Bo Dallas were going to turn on The Miz. It felt like Miz was going to lose almost everything going into WrestleMania. Well done to the Miztourage for fooling everyone with their great acting, though it’s a shame we won’t get to see a “wrestling legacy tag team” in Curtis & Bo moving forward.
  • That was a nice, old school promo from Kane.
  • A “newcomer” called Jamie Frost talks about how she’s going to destroy Asuka. She then proceeds to get knocked out within five seconds by the Empress of Tomorrow. This is how they should’ve been building Asuka’s main roster run from the start.
  • Great, an unwanted recap of the unwanted Ultimate Deletion match.
  • Thankfully, Matt Hardy will be on the ARMBAR at WrestleMania.
  • “That was… OBNOXIOUS!” Well done Michael Cole for saying what I’ve been thinking (and hopefully a lot more people out there).
  • We’re constantly being told whoever wins the ARMBAR at WrestleMania goes on to “launch a successful career.” Cesaro won the first four years ago, and it took just as long for his success to kick off. Big Show won the second, but his career was always successful at this point. Baron Corbin and Mojo Rawley won the following two and… Yeah it doesn’t look good for this year’s winner. Prove me wrong guys! Prove me wrong…
  • Sasha Banks responses to Bayley’s text message by approaching her and telling her she got her text. You could’ve saved yourself a lot of time and just texted her back, Sasha.
  • “I can’t beat you?” a confused Sasha asked Bayley. That’s correct Sasha. It’s been proven you can’t beat her multiple times.
  • Damn, that was a brutal locker room brawl between Sasha and Bayley. I’m glad the referees broke them up instead of stopping Brock’s beatdown of Roman earlier.
  • While I’m happy for Braun to be getting a match at WrestleMania and potentially holding championship gold, I’m a bit annoyed about the situation with the Raw Tag Team Championship. It would’ve been better for the titles to be contested between two established tag teams. Isn’t that what the Tag Team Championship is about?
  • Ronda isn’t the baddest woman on the planet, Kurt. The honour should be going to either Holly Holm or Amanda Nunes.
  • Wow, Ronda’s makeup makes her look like she’s possessed by a conjunctivitis demon.
  • Why is Ronda still looking nervous when she comes out? She should be used to the crowd sizes, especially during her UFC days. If she’s this nervous on Raw, she’ll sh*t herself when she wrestles her first match at WrestleMania.
  • Ronda says Stephanie is tough but “she’s personal trainer tough”. I’m sorry Ronda, but at this stage Stephanie has a lot more wrestling experience than you, therefore making her more “wrestling tough” than you.
  • Paige still thinks the ring is her house. Someone needs to give her a lesson in real estate.
  • Ronda delivered an ugly looking suplex to Mandy Rose. It also looked like Mandy had to tell her what to do. At least that judo hip toss thing looked good. Did I name the move correctly? I guess I’ll wait for Ronda to judo-splain it to me.
  • If Cena wants a path to WrestleMania so badly, why doesn’t he just enter the ARMBAR?
  • I wonder if Luke Gallows’ educated feet went to the same school as Rob Van Dam’s.
  • “Why is John Cena disrespecting the Undertaker?” Even the WWE wants an answer to this.
  • They really need to reposition the Snickers logo when they’re running through the WrestleMania matches. It looks like AJ Styles will now be facing “Snickers Nakamura” instead of Shinsuke.
  • Annoying recap of Cena sh*ting on the Undertaker is annoying.
  • If you’re going to mock the Undertaker’s taunts Cena, you might not want to make it look like you’re constipated.
  • “You only care about yourself,” Cena said, completely forgetting he’s doing this because he’s desperate to secure himself a spot on the WrestleMania card.
Smackdown Logo
Welcome to SmackDown – The Land of Opportunity!
  • Nice video package of the Sami Zayn/Kevin Owens/Daniel Bryan segment from last week.
  • Randy Orton needs to decide whether he wants to have a shaved head or if he wants to let his hair grow out.
  • Damn it! Sunil’s too injured to wrestle?! This is unacceptable!
  • Rusev is Sunil’s replacement? I’m cool with this.
  • Orton doesn’t want to wrestle because his hoodie vest is still on.
  • Wow, did Tom Phillips really call Rusev, “Rudolph”?
  • Rusev got the pin on Orton?! Happy Rusev Day!
  • Jinder Mahal is apparently going to celebrate his potential US Title win more than his WWE Championship
  • WrestleMania has now officially been renamed RusevMania. Get ready for another t-shirt!
  • Shinsuke Nakamura’s English and promos have gotten so much better. They were good in NXT, but the improvement is great to see.
  • Becky Lynch picks up another win! That means she isn’t winning the Lady’s ARMBAR.
  • Daniel Bryan walks out wearing a cardigan, t-shirt and jeans. It looks like he just woke up very early on a Saturday and stumbled out of his house in the suburbs. He looks down at the Saturday morning newspaper thrown on his front lawn. He wearily walks out to collect it, inadvertently stepping in dog faeces generously left there by his next-door neighbour’s chihuahua. His frustration hits boiling point when he’s drenched by the sprinklers and runs back inside, complaining angrily to Brie Bella as she’s making vegan pancakes for breakfast. …That kinda went a bit too far, didn’t it? The point is, I think the world needs a gritty reboot of Beethoven.
  • Daniel Bryan reminds us we’re in Pittsburgh.
  • The crowd blending “You still got it” and “Daniel Bryan” chants made it sound like they were chanting “You Daniel Bryan”.
  • It’s ok Daniel, you can say ass. You can even say bitch or bastard. You just can’t say sh*t and F#$% on a PG show.
  • Cena’s being a very bad role model to everyone in the locker room. Now Shelton Benjamin & Chad Gable are crying about not having a match at WrestleMania so now they’re going to do whatever they need to do to get on it. Guys, it’s called the ARMBAR. Go sign up for it.
  • New Day, it’s not a good idea for you to be teasing the Bludgeon Brothers after what they did to you. It’s also annoying to see New Day reverting back to their joking ways to address the vicious beatdown they suffered at the hands of Harper and Rowan.
  • Apparently, Shane McMahon suffered diverticulitis and has a hernia from the beatdown he received from Owens and Zayn. WWE really need to start consulting a medical expert for their storylines.
  • Fandango got a good cardio work out.
  • The crowd doesn’t know if they should be booing Nakamura or Styles.
  • Great segment between Nakamura and Styles. Again, Nakamura’s microphone skills have vastly improved and him teasing the Kinshasa was fantastic.
NXT Logo
Meanwhile, at NXT…
  • Unsanctioned match between Johnny Gargano and Tommaso Ciampa at NXT Takeover? #sploosh
  • It’s good to see a second championship be brought in for NXT. As for calling it the “North American Championship”, I’m not 100% sure on the name, especially when you’re trying to put it on the same level as the UK Championship and say the title represents North America. Then again, the UK Championship won’t be used as a fill-in title, especially with rumours flying around the WWE UK show might finally be going head.
  • Mauro Ranallo doesn’t know what EC3 stands for. If he watched TNA, he’d known it stands for Ethan Carter III. Hell, even I knew what he stands for and I never watched TNA.
  • I don’t know what pissed me off more: TM61 trying get over in a backstage interview only to be interrupted by a fight between Shayna Baszler and Ember Moon, or Shayna Baszler being on my TV. There’s seriously too much focus on this match.
  • You only have yourself to blame for your loss, Montez Ford. Even Paul Ellering warned you not to go after him.
  • “You look well,” Velveteen Dream said to William Regal. “I know,” Mr Regal replied.
  • After watching many episodes of old school WWF, I’m convinced Lars Sullivan is Psycho Sid.
  • Andrade “Cien” Almas attacked Aleister Black so bad he tore his clothes apart.
  • NXT officials came out to stop Almas AFTER he attempts to drown him in an ice box full of water. What happened to that awesome security team last week?
  • I’m a bit annoyed at how Pete Dunne and Roderick Strong have gone through to the finals of the Dusty Rhodes Tag Team Classic. It looks like they’ll be winning the tournament and will face off against Undisputed Era at Takeover. The tournament should be used to honour the memory of Dusty Rhodes, and not be used to progress the storyline of what will be a quick and forgettable feud.

That’s all for this edition of WRR! Let me know when you thought of this week’s shows. Feedback is welcomed too! Thanks for reading and I’ll see you next week!

Weekly Rassling Rundown 19 – 21 Mar

Welcome to this week’s Weekly Rassling Rundown. Let’s dive into this week’s WWE Raw, SmackDown, and NXT shows!

Raw Logo
Welcome everyone, to Monday Night RAW!

 

  • For some reason, Kurt Angle doesn’t know what to do about Braun Strowman illegally entering and illegally winning a Tag Team Battle Royale. It’s simple – REDO THE MATCH!!!
  • Roman Reigns breaking his suspense wasn’t surprising, the fact WWE allowed him to have a live microphone was.
  • Angle might need to have his neck medically examined. It was getting redder the more he talked, and his veins tripled in size as well. That’s not a good sign…
  • Three US Marshalls were beat up by Reigns while he was handcuffed. Either Reigns is overpowered, or US Marshalls are terrible at law enforcement.
  • Brock Lesnar finally appearing on Raw to beat down on a handcuffed Roman Reigns was great. Brock was hated and Roman gained a lot of support from the crowd… Until they were highjacked by moronic fans chanting “You Deserve It”.
  • Speaking of Lesnar’s beatdown of Reigns, why didn’t the locker room come out to stop Brock like they always do in these situations? It would’ve been great to see the entire WWE Raw roster come out to support Reigns.
  • Why did I assume Braun Strowman was going to appear when Reigns was being loaded into the ambulance?
  • For some reason, Mickie James now looks like she’s part of the cast of Desperate Housewives of New Jersey.
  • I don’t understand why Alexa Bliss thinks talking sh*t about Nia Jax while standing in the middle of the ring is a smart idea, especially when she knows Nia will be coming for her.
  • Asuka definitely picked the correct person to face at WrestleMania. Her match against Bliss was average at best.
  • Did Nia have to slow down to allow Alexa to get away from her? Damn, looks really can be deceiving.
  • Alexa Bliss vs. Nia Jax at WrestleMania was predictable. Hopefully Nia gets the win. After these past few weeks she really deserves it.
  • Kurt Angle has allowed Braun Strowman to pick a partner in his match against The Bar at WrestleMania. Again, why was Braun allowed to win a match he didn’t have a right to be in?
  • Matt Hardy’s kids seem just as uninterested in the Ultimate Deletion Match as I am.
  • Within a week Coach has gone from being the most logical member on the commentary team to being stupid almost on a Bryon Saxton level.
  • The Revival’s plan to prove how good of a tag team they are is to downgrade themselves to the WrestleMania preshow and be forgotten in the Andre The Giant Memorial Battle Royal (AKA the ARMBAR).
  • Great to see Mark Henry being inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame. I hope the hand he fathered with Mae Young gets to induct him.
  • The dragging out of the Sasha/Bayley saga continues with the two teaming up. Sasha Banks clearly explains the “every woman for herself” scenarios her and Bayley have been, yet Bayley still doesn’t understand why Sasha keeps turning on her during the matches. Though Sasha is meant to be coming off as the mean friend, this feud is making Bayley look like a bigger moron than usual.
  • John Cena continuing to bash Undertaker for “being embarrassed” about his WrestleMania loss and for being a coward is already getting old.
  • The crowd chants “Undertaker” when Cena asks them if they want to see him. This is apparently enough proof for Cena to prove people want to see the Deadman wrestle. To be fair, they’d be chanting for Stone Cold Steve Austin if Cena asked them if they want to see him wrestle again. Or the Rock. Or Mankind. Shawn Michaels…
  • Why is Cena trying to make Undertaker look like the bad guy by saying he’s disrespecting people by not giving us an answer? Isn’t it disrespectful (and egotistical) to try and get a 53-year-old man, who’s suffering from many injuries, to come out of retirement for one night?
  • Thank you Kane for choke slamming Cena! Also Cena, if you want Kane to give you an answer from the Undertaker, you shouldn’t move the microphone away from him.
  • For some reason, The Miz broke kayfabe and asked the crowd if he’s a heel.
  • Miz referred to Finn Balor as “Prince Nevitt” instead of his old wrestling name “Prince Devitt”. Devitt also happens to be Finn’s real surname. Maybe Miz has Neville on the mind.
  • Balor flexed. I splooshed.
  • Balor picking up two victories two weeks in a row means he’ll be losing at WrestleMania.
  • The package they played telling us about Ronda Rousey’s history reminded me a lot about the video packages NXT ran for Roderick Strong – two wrestlers with no gimmick who are struggling to get over with the WWE audience. Wait, that’s mean for Strong. I should’ve said one talented wrestler (Strong) and one potential dud of a wrestler (Rousey). There, all fixed.
  • All I took away from that Ronda video package was the fact she cried about losing two matches in UFC and couldn’t handle the losses, so she jumped ship to WWE. Great role model for young women and girls everywhere. If at first you don’t succeed, give up and try somewhere else.
  • You just know the Ultimate Deletion match is going to be horrible when Michael Cole issues an apology to the WWE fans for what they’re about to watch.
  • The Ultimate Deletion Match is just a “Falls Count Anywhere” Match held at Matt Hardy’s house filmed in the middle of the night. There was background music playing and the match resembled more of a bad Hollywood action movie than an actual wrestling match. It was terrible. I hated it. I seriously don’t understand why people like this Woken/Broken gimmick. Someone please, explain it to me.
  • Bray Wyatt has now been ultimately buried… I mean “deleted”. What the hell did that guy do to deserve this? At least the rest of the Wyatt Family are doing well. Three out of four ain’t bad, I suppose.
Smackdown Logo
Welcome to SmackDown – The Land of Opportunity!
  • I’ve got mixed feelings about Daniel Bryan returning to the ring. While it’s good to see him wrestle again, I fear his popularity is going to hurt the pushes and popularity of other wrestlers. I might expand on this later in a separate post.
  • Daniel thanks the WWE medical staff. That’s something you’ll never see CM Punk do.
  • Another good match between Rusev and Shinsuke Nakamura. AJ Styles taking his time to help him was good as well.
  • Natalya Neidhart tells Charlotte Flair she senses the SmackDown Women’s Champion’s fear of losing to Asuka. Natalya’s mutant power confirmed.
  • I seriously love the backstage taunting between Nakamura and Styles. WWE know they don’t have to do much to build their match at WrestleMania and it’s working well.
  • When I looked at Baron Corbin’s opponent in the ring I thought “Hmm, looks like they’re using a local wrestler to job to Baron”. It was actually Tye Dillinger. Remember when he was just more than enhancement talent when he was in NXT?
  • That was an ugly botch of Corbin’s End of Days finisher…
  • Pretty good match between Natalya and Charlotte. Charlotte taking the loss from Carmella’s Money in the Bank cash in attempt was a nice touch. Maybe Natalya was right – Charlotte is afraid of her WrestleMania match against Asuka.
  • Jesus Christ, Rowan’s steampunk sheep mask is terrifying.
  • Randy Orton will now defend the WWE US Title in a Triple Threat Match at WrestleMania against Jinder Mahal and Bobby Roode. Called it.
  • Glad to see Becky Lynch finally picking up a win instead of losing!
  • Sami Zayn and Kevin Owens are now best friends again, even after Zayn and Owens turned on each other to try and win the WWE Championship. They understood it was “every man for himself”. Take note, Bayley.
  • Zayn and Owens getting fired by Bryan and their vicious beatdown of him was fantastic. All three men were great together and everything felt emotional. However, where the HELL was security? How were Owens and Zayn, two employees who were just fired, allowed to beat up their former boss without any interference? Not even the roster came out to stop them from beating down someone who was just medically cleared after two years of being benched!
  • Between Raw and SmackDown, the EMTs are getting a lot of work.
NXT Logo
Meanwhile, at NXT…

 

  • These Johnny Gargano signs are getting bigger by the week.
  • That crowd pop when Gargano finally appeared and attacked Tommaso Ciampa was great.
  • Gargano, a former NXT wrestler who was fired, illegally attacks Ciampa, a current NXT wrestler. Security immediately come out and remove Gargano from the building because he has no right to be there. Looks like NXT General Manager William Regal took note from what happened on Raw and SmackDown this week.
  • Tyler Bate not being in the Dusty Rhodes Tag Team Classic makes me a sad panda. In all seriousness, it sucks to see Bate injured. Hopefully he isn’t out for too long.
  • Why does Roderick Strong think he’s entitled to opportunities when he’s repeatedly lost?
  • Not sure if I like Pete Dunne teaming up Strong. Dunne’s a lone wolf (sorry Corbin) so him teaming with Strong seems a bit off. He’d only have to be in it for the opportunity to capture more gold.
  • Great to see Oney Lorcan complete again. I’ve missed his hard-hitting style.
  • Not only is Shayna Baszler bad at interviews, she’s also bad on commentary.
  • Baszler’s comment that “no one’s tried to stop her” from doing what she wants is technically true – and annoying. Regal told Baszler from the beginning her attitude wouldn’t be tolerated, so why does he allow her to get away with attacking women? Why does he continue to reward her bad behaviour by giving her title shots?
  • Andrade “Cein” Almas angrily told us Aleister Black disrespected him last week. I’m really confused as to why Almas thinks this, considering HE was the one to no-show his contract signing last week.
  • Lars Sullivan is coming back! I can’t wait to hear that theme again!
  • Kassius Ohno and Adam Cole’s match was great from start to finish. I sh*t myself twice when Cole hit his Last Shot neckbreaker to the much heavier Ohno. Cole hitting Ohno with repeated superkicks was a nice way to end the match as well.

That’s all for this edition of WRR! Let me know when you thought of this week’s shows. Feedback is welcomed too! Thanks for reading and I’ll see you next week!

Weekly Rassling Rundown 12 – 15 Mar

Welcome to this week’s Weekly Rassling Rundown. Let’s dive into this week’s WWE Raw, SmackDown, and NXT shows!

Raw Logo
Welcome everyone, to Monday Night RAW!
  • Apparently, Stephanie McMahon & Triple H vs. Ronda Rousey & Kurt Angle is a dream match everyone has been waiting for. The only dream match people are waiting for is AJ Styles vs. Shinsuke Nakamura.
  • For the third time in a row, Brock Lesnar hasn’t showed up for work. Even when he isn’t around people still react to him.
  • Roman Reigns’ promo was on point once again and calling Brock “Vince’s boy” was perfect. He’s microphone skills are getting better, and the crowd’s getting behind him very well.
  • Roman confronting Vince McMahon in the production area?! Kayfabe broken!
  • Vince responding to Roman’s comments by suspending him was another great way to gain heat against Brock and support for Roman. I’m really looking forward to seeing Brock no show for a fourth time despite Vince’s promise he’ll be there.
  • Why is Bayley still accompanying Sasha Banks to the ring? It makes no sense especially when Bayley walked away from Sasha twice in two weeks.
  • With every passing week, Mandy Rose is looking more like Trish Stratus.
  • Kid Rock does a few songs for WWE, gets inducted into the Hall of Fame. I now know what I must do to be inducted.
  • Finn Balor and Seth Rollins coming out for an interview in their wrestling attire? They’ll be wrestling later tonight.
  • Miz’s face during Seth and Finn’s argument was gold.
  • The low quality of the Raw Tag Team Division greatly disturbs me.
  • Actually, the misuse of The Club and The Revival greatly disturbs me.
  • John Cena decides to come back to Raw to cry about not going to WrestleMania. Remember when he said he doesn’t abuse his free-agent status? Yeah, me neither…
  • Great, Cena wants to buy a ticket to WrestleMania and be part of the crowd. This tells me two things. One: Vince McMahon won’t give free tickets to his golden boy (sorry Brock). Two: Cena’s not content enough with burying wrestlers so he now wants to bury the fans.
  • Wow… Way to treat Roman like sh*t, Cena, by encouraging the crowd to boo him. Seriously, can this guy’s cry for attention be any more desperate?
  • Cena throwing down a challenge Undertaker is stupid. If Cena wins, he’ll be taking away Roman’s victory against Undertaker from last year’s WrestleMania.
  • In his attempt to draw out the Undertaker, Cena berates him by accusing him of being old, a coward and an egomaniac. Cena’s attempt to call Undertaker out on these grounds and try to have the fans turn against him was pathetic. It’s completely hypocritical for Cena to call Undertaker “an egomaniac” when he has been abusing his power for the last two months to try and secure a WrestleMania match.
  • We get a “special look” at Braun Strowman & Elias’ match from last week. And by “special look”, I mean “a replay”.
  • Braun demands competition and wants a match at WrestleMania. There you go, Cena. Go take on Braun. Problem solved.
  • Seth and Finn had a solid match and the ending was great. No one saw it coming which is why is worked beautifully.
  • Good to see WWE holding a Women’s Battle Royale in honour of Fabulous Moolah – an ancient female wrestler who allegedly pimped out her students and other female talent. Thank God they had common sense to rename it after the huge backlash they received. Pissing off the major sponsor for WrestleMania would cause you to change the name as well, I guess.
  • We get a “special look” at the upcoming Stephanie McMahon & Triple H vs. Ronda Rousey & Kurt Angle match. And by “special look”, I mean “a boring, five-minute video package”.
  • Even Alexa Bliss knows Asuka’s microphone skills aren’t good.
  • Both Alexa Bliss and Mickie James forget they were both beaten by Asuka in the past. Empress of Amnesia confirmed.
  • Asuka picked Charlotte because she wanted a challenge. Ouch Asuka, ouch.
  • The public backstabbing of Nia Jax by Alexa and Mickie was gold. Nia’s reaction and backstage outburst was spot on. Seriously, someone give this woman the Oscar for Best Actress!
  • Poor Bray Wyatt. Of all the people in the Wyatt Family, who would’ve thought it would’ve been Bray’s career going nowhere? And it isn’t his fault! Blame the bad booking for ruining his career and character!
  • After this “Ultimate Deletion Match”, please never let us see Woken and/or Broken Matt Hardy again.
  • “Did I do something wrong?”, Referee who was appointed as the official of the Wyatt/Hardy match next week. Yes, even the referee knows this is going to suck.
  • Braun enters himself in the Tag Team Battle Royale to determine who will face Raw Tag Team Champions, The Bar, at WrestleMania. The referee allows it, and Braun wins. I don’t know why this is allowed, but at least we finally get to see Braun hold a championship.
  • MVP of the night goes to Johnathan Coachman, for answering all of Michael Cole’s stupid questions with basic common sense.
Smackdown Logo
Welcome to SmackDown – The Land of Opportunity!
  • AJ Styles vs. Shinsuke Nakamura hype for WrestleMania… #sploosh
  • AJ Styles comes out to a huge pop. Shinsuke Nakamura comes out to a bigger pop. Leave it to Rusev Day to come back to an even bigger pop.
  • Solid match between AJ and Rusev. Rusev is so underutilised it’s depressing.
  • Nice backstage promo from the survivors of the Bludgeon Brothers’s bludgeoning: Big E and Jimmy and/or Jey Uso. Smart decision to have them team up for revenge.
  • I’m glad to see WWE didn’t have Big E come out to do his usual microphone stuff. Serious Big E is serious Big E.
  • Harper & Rowan have hammers. Big E and Jimmy and/or Jey have chairs. All we need are some ladders and tables, and we got ourselves a great WrestleMania match!
  • Sami Zayn’s character and microphone work over the last few months has been great. I really hope he continues his streak once this Kevin Owens/Shane McMahon feud is done.
  • Really nice promo between Charlotte Flair and Asuka. You can tell both women are legitimately excited to be facing one another at WrestleMania. The excitement from the crowd was there throughout the entire segment… And was promptly killed by Randy Orton coming out randomly.
  • Thanks for showing the world you can’t hold the WWE US Title correctly, Orton.
  • Bobby Roode is going to retain the WWE US Title. I believe the word you were looking for there, Mr Roode, was “regain”.
  • The crowd show their support for Bobby Roode, (a Canadian wrestler), by chanting “USA” as he wrestles against Jinder Mahal (a Canadian wrestler of Indian descent billed from India).
  • Corey Graves really hates Byron Saxton. I honestly think there might be legit beef between the two backstage. There’s no way the two can be acting this well.
  • What’s the bet ever female wrestler who tweeted about the Horrendous Moolah promptly deleted them after SmackDown?
  • Shane McMahon comes out to remind us we’re in Indianapolis this week.
  • Shane informs everyone he’ll be taking an indefinite leave from the WWE. I’d be excited about that news, but if I’ve learned anything from watching WWE for years it’s that he’ll be back in two weeks.
  • Shane gives us a nice parting gift by booking Sami Zayn vs. Kevin Owens at WrestleMania. Yes, the two people he hates are freely given a match at WrestleMania. Take note, Cena.
  • The Owens and Zayn beatdown of Shane was great.
  • “You’re being very mean right now!” SmackDown Fan, 2018.
NXT Logo
Meanwhile, at NXT…
  • Sanity beating Tino Sabbatelli & Riddick Moss was predictable. Also, why are Tino & Moss teaming again? I thought they didn’t like each other.
  • For a second week in a row, Tommaso Ciampa’s heat was nuclear. The crowd are strongly against Ciampa and he’s got them eating out of the palm of his hand without uttering a single word.
  • Why is Shayna Baszler continuing to come out each week to beat up wrestlers? Why is she being rewarded for this by getting another shot at the NXT Women’s Championship?
  • Not only does Baszler no-sell a very hard punch to the face from Ember Moon, she botches selling Ember’s finisher. If Baszler becomes the NXT Women’s Champion at TakeOver: New Orleans, you can kiss the NXT Women’s Division goodbye.
  • Street Profits vs. Heavy Machinery was a bit fun. Didn’t think Street Profits would get the win here.
  • Pete Dunne vs. Adam Cole was good, but not as good as the crowd thought it was. A few cool moves shouldn’t get fans automatically chanting “This Is Awesome” and “Fight Forever”.
  • The contract signing for Aleister Black vs. Andrade “Cien” Almas was disappointing. No NXT Champion and the focus went from Black vs. Almas to Zelina Vega vs. Candice LeRae.
  • For the first time in a while, this week’s NXT wasn’t the show of the week. I’m sure things will pick up steam in the weeks to come

That’s all for this edition of WRR! Let me know when you thought of this week’s shows. Feedback is welcomed too! Thanks for reading and I’ll see you next week!

Weekly Rassling Rundown 05 – 07 Mar

Welcome to this week’s Weekly Rassling Rundown. Let’s dive into this week’s WWE Raw, SmackDown, and NXT shows!

Raw Logo
Welcome everyone, to Monday Night RAW!
  • Stephanie McMahon must’ve read my blog last week when she referenced how much child support Kurt Angle pays.
  • Ronda Rousey wasted five minutes high-fiving every fan at ringside. Even Stephanie called her out for doing it.
  • Ronda still looks like she’s going to burst out crying whenever people chant her name.
  • Ronda can’t do drumrolls. She screwed up her announcement by naming Stephanie as her WrestleMania opponent as soon as the drumroll started.
  • I think everyone saw Triple H & Stephanie McMahon vs. Kurt Angle & Ronda Rousey at WrestleMania coming. It’s a smart move honestly. Ronda’s probably too green to go into a match solo, so Triple H and Kurt Angle will be carrying most of it.
  • Ronda’s only wrestling move at this stage is a Samoan drop, and a bad one at that.
  • I’m really getting annoyed at how WWE are playing interviews in the middle of matches. It’s too distracting.
  • Asuka vs. Nia Jax wasn’t as good as their previously encounters, though I thought the finish was good.
  • It’s a shame the Revival aren’t facing The Bar at WrestleMania. Their match on Raw should’ve served as a teaser for things to come.
  • John Cena has a shot at the WWE Championship which is a SmackDown title. This shot takes place on Fastlane, which is a SmackDown PPV. It’s totally logical for him to be on RAW INSTEAD OF BEING ON SMACKDOWN!
  • Cena stated he “doesn’t take his free-agent status for granted”, yet he comes to Raw to promote his SmackDown PPV match…
  • The reason why Cena came to Raw was to talk sh*t to his opponents who are on SmackDown, proving to everyone Cena is a coward who abuses his power.
  • Cena implied him being in a triple threat match against AJ Styles and Shinsuke Nakamura would be more epic than just singles match between AJ and Shinsuke. Seriously, is this guy for real? He said this just moments before he told everyone “I never hold people back” and “I don’t abuse my powers”.
  • Thank you Goldust for trying to save us from Cena’s bullsh*t. I can see him costing Cena the match at Fastlane, leading to a match between Goldust and Cena at WrestleMania.
  • John Cena, the only wrestler I know who can kick out of a low blow. Insert your “he has no balls” joke here.
  • Good to see Hillbilly Jim going into the WWE Hall of Fame! I thought he got inducted years ago.
  • Bayley cried about how Sasha Banks kept turning on her during their matches, despite her informing everyone she knew they were “every woman for herself” scenarios. Stop crying Bayley and get over it! Maybe you should’ve taken advantage of your “friendship” with Sasha Bank, just how Sasha has been taking advantage of it for months.
  • And the Oscar for Best Actress goes to… Nia Jax. Seriously, that was a great segment backstage. Alexa Bliss was great at being that fake, sincere friend and the water works Nia put on was believable. It reminded me a lot of Mark Henry’s awesome fake retirement angle.
  • A recap of the opening segment played, and it featured the drumroll spot Ronda screwed up – but fixed! Seriously! It was correctly edited in the replay! I don’t get the point of it though since everyone witnessed the screw up.
  • By the way, a “recap” shouldn’t be a “replay” of the entire segment.
  • Elias is apparently a one -man orchestra.
  • Braun Strowman is either a psychic or can teleport. I’m going with both.
  • Australia is having a stadium show. Word going around is that it’ll take place in the MCG in Melbourne. If I were an Australian who lives in Melbourne, I’d totally be excited about it. Oh wait… I am… #sploosh
  • Matt Hardy and Bray Wyatt don’t realise the Great War ended in 1918.
  • The Miz proved he can do a drumroll better than Ronda.
  • Whoever put together the Mizzie video packages deserves a raise and an induction into the WWE Hall of Fame. They were gold.
  • Seth Rollins shaving his beard doesn’t make him look like CrossFit Jesus. That makes me a sad panda.
  • “You won’t be competing against Seth Rollins. And you won’t be competing against Finn Balor. But, you will be competing against them in a Triple Threat match.” Kurt Angle, 2018. I seriously think it might be time for you to put down the microphone.
  • Paul Heyman cut a good first promo, then knocked it out of the park with his second. It was interesting to hear Heyman tell everyone “the title is Brock Lesnar’s bitch”. Heyman done his job by getting people to boo Brock, and it showed when Roman Reigns came out to cheers. The build towards Roman vs. Brock is going very well.

 

Smackdown Logo
Welcome to SmackDown – The Land of Opportunity!
  • Well, that segment between Charlotte Flair and Ruby Riott was anticlimactic. Thank God the two will have a solid match at Fastlane.
  • Sorry Sunil Singh, but you’re no Samir Singh on the mic.
  • Champ sits at announce table. Wrestlers fight outside the ring. Challenger to the champion’s title throws his opponent into the champ. Classic booking.
  • Jindal Mahal now has four victories over Randy Orton. I wonder who Orton will squash next in retaliation.
  • I can’t wait for see Sami Zayn turn on Kevin Owens at Fastlane. This has been booked so well.
  • Nakamura Day needs to be a thing. On a side note, Shinsuke has a hell of a voice. He needs to do a duet with Braun Strowman. Now THAT would be the ultimate WrestleMania moment.
  • “You can’t just make up your own holiday, bro.” Rusev, 2018.
  • I forgot Carmella won the Women’s Money in the Bank briefcase until she came out with it.
  • We get to see Naomi & Becky Lynch vs. Natalya & Carmella for some reason at Fastlane. Good to see Becky in a PPV match, annoying to see Naomi in a PPV match.
  • Hey look, the camera was set up outside in the perfect position at the perfect time to catch a “random guy” slipping on the snow! Hilarious!
  • AJ Styles agrees with 99.99% of the WWE Universe – John Cena needs to stay the F@#$ out of the AJ Style vs. Shinsuke Nakamura match at WrestleMania.
  • For some unexplained reason, Dolph Ziggler is now a heel.
  • Zayn and Owens interrupt AJ and Ziggler’s match, which leads to Shane McMahon coming out to restart the match as a Fatal 5-Way between the four as well as Baron Corbin. That’s probably the first time Shane actually made the right call.
  • Great Fatal 5-Way match and Zayn stealing the win by turning on Owens during the match was fantastic! My only issue was this isn’t the match on Fastlane, and Cena is going to steal the spotlight from everyone else.

 

NXT Logo
Meanwhile, at NXT…

 

  • Authors of Pain vs. TM61 is a good way to kick off the Dusty Rhodes Tag Team Classic. A shame TM61 didn’t win the match. I picked them to win the tournament.
  • I hope that confrontation between Pete Dunne and Adam Cole leads to them having a match.
  • The lack of Bianca Belair whipping people with her hair disturbs me.
  • Lacey Evans suddenly developed a Southern belle accent. It can’t hide how bad her promo skills are.
  • Speaking of bad promo skills, Shayna Baszler still sucks. They are giving her way too much airtime.
  • They say, “silence is golden”, which is exactly what Tommaso Ciampa’s segment was. It was perfect. The crowd HATE him so much for what he did to Johnny Gargano. Congratulations Ciampa, you’ll be hated by NXT fans for the rest of your life.
  • Ciampa’s new t-shirt is awesome. It’s a shame it’s not for sale because Ciampa refused to have it be sold. Congratulations Ciampa, you’ll be hated by NXT fans for eternity.
  • Pete Dunne will be defending the WWE UK Championship against Adam Cole. #sploosh
  • Aleister Black vs. Killian Dain was solid. I’d like to see them clash in the ring again in the future.
  • Aleister Black vs. Andrade “Cien” Almas for the NXT Championship should be amazing. I can’t wait for that match to happen!

That’s all for this edition of WRR! Let me know when you thought of this week’s shows. Feedback is welcomed too! Thanks for reading and I’ll see you next week!

WWE Fastlane 2018 Review

WWE were nice enough to air Fastlane on a public holiday which means I got to watch the PPV live. Let’s break it down and take an in-depth look at how the night went.

1) Shinsuke Nakamura def. Rusev. Real solid opener for the PPV. The two worked well together and fired up the crowd for the rest of the night. I’d like to see Nakamura and Rusev have a few more matches together down the road. Nakamura winning wasn’t much of a surprise since WWE would want to give him as much momentum as possible going into WrestleMania.

2) Randy Orton def. Bobby Roode to win the WWE US Title. A second solid match in a row? Damn, Fastlane is actually producing some good stuff! Roode and Orton worked well together. I was a bit annoyed about Orton winning since he didn’t need the win. Jinder Mahal comes out after the match to beat down Orton. Roode hits a Glorious DDT to Jinder, then delivers one to Orton outta nowhere! Heel turn for Roode? I hope so. He’ll be able to excel more on the main roster as the arrogant heel we all loved in NXT.

RKO
Ok, that RKO outta nowhere was cool…

 

4) The Usos vs The New Day for the WWE SmackDown Tag Team Championship went to a no contest. Everyone was excited to see this match happen again, even if it’s like the tenth time we’ve seen it. While it might sound like I’m being sarcastic, I’m not. The chemistry between these guys is always on point and they always deliver a show-stealing performance. Everyone was watching this match wondering how these guys will outdo themselves again. This happened in the form of the Bludgeon Brothers.

Harper and Rowan crushed, killed, and destroyed EVERYONE. It was brutal. It was bad ass. It was a bludgeoning. The cherry on top was the sick powerbomb they delivered to Xavier Woods on the steel steps. It was later announced Woods was taken to a medical centre for potential spinal injury. Though it’s most likely just a fake injury for storyline purposes, I hope Woods isn’t being written off due to a legitimate injury. In any case, it looks like we might be getting ourselves a solid triple threat match at WrestleMania between The Usos, The New Day, and The Bludgeon Brothers. TLC please WWE? Thanks.

BB
There will be bludgeoning.

5) Charlotte Flair def Ruby Riott to retain the WWE SmackDown Women’s Championship. Before I break this down, I need to quote what House Mate (my housemate) and Big T (our full-time wrestling fan friend) predicted:

Big T: “They’ll be some form of shenanigans from the Riott Squad.”

House Mate: “It would be perfect if Asuka comes down to the ring after the match to challenge Charlotte Flair at WrestleMania.”

And now for the match. This was easily one of the best matches of the night, and one of the best women’s matches I’ve seen for a long time. I knew these two were going to put on a hell of a match and it didn’t disappoint. The Riott Squad did get involved (good guess, Big T) but they weren’t overly featured which was good. The focus was always on Charlotte and Ruby.

And when the match was done… the Women’s Royal Rumble winner Asuka came out to point at the WrestleMania sign (good guess, House Mate). That’s right people – we’re getting Charlotte Flair vs. Asuka at WrestleMania!

Asuka
#sploosh

Before the main event of the night, SmackDown Commissioner Shane McMahon headed down to the ring to most likely get involved in yet another main event. At this point, House Mate and Big T made correct predications, so now I was under pressure to predict something.

W.F. Thorne: “Shane’s going to interfere in the match. I’m thinking he’ll interrupt John Cena’s pinfall attempt to protect AJ Styles vs. Shinsuke Nakamura at WrestleMania.”

6) AJ Styles def. John Cena, Baron Corbin, Kevin Owens, Sami Zayn, and Dolph Ziggler to retain the WWE Championship. What a match! It was solid and fast paced from start to finish with not a dull moment to be found. There was a lot riding on this match for everyone, especially the fans. You had five people gunning for the WWE Championship, which means we would all lose the dream match between AJ Styles and Shinsuke Nakamura.

Everyone played their roles well. One of the highlights was when Zayn and Owens finally had the ring to themselves. Zayn laid down for Owens like he promised, but Owens didn’t believe him. After a failed roll up attempt by Zayn, the two brawled much to the delight of the crowd.

During the match Shane took an unintentional superkick from Owens, who was aiming at Zayn. Shane would proceed to interrupt Owens’ pinfall attempt to Ziggler, then Shane would interrupt Zayn’s pinfall attempt on Owens. This confused everyone and annoyed the hell out of us. Even Corey Graves and Byron Saxton, who are always arguing on commentary, agreed it made no sense at all.

The match would later end with AJ Styles picking up the win. While it was a monstrous sigh of relief, the win felt a bit cheap. AJ got put through an announce table half way during the match and was out of it from that point onwards. AJ coming in just to pick up the quick win felt a bit dirty and there wasn’t a real sense of him desperately trying to defend his title. We immediately forgot about this once this graphic appeared:

AJ
Confirmed: AJ Style vs. Shinsuke “Snickers” Nakamura at WrestleMania!

And with that, the entire wrestling community collectively splooshed for the second time tonight. Looking back on the match it makes sense while AJ Styles didn’t do much in this match – he needed to save his energy for the masterpiece that’s going to happen at WrestleMania.

So how did my predication go? Was I right? Let’s break it down:

“Shane’s going to interfere in the match…” Correct. That’s 1-0.

“I’m thinking he’ll interrupt John Cena’s pinfall…” Incorrect. 1-1.

“…to protect AJ Styles vs. Shinsuke Nakamura at WrestleMania.” AJ successfully defended his title, so this part is true. That’s 2-1, giving me a correct predication via split decision!

In all, Fastlane was a lot better than what I thought it was going to be. I had no expectations, but it delivered. I think the Six-Pack Challenge for the WWE Championship just edged out the SmackDown Women’s Championship match for being the best match of the night. I’d like to hear your thoughts on the show so leave your comments below!

See you all in a month’s time for my next WWE PPV review – WrestleMania!

 

Weekly Rassling Rundown 26 – 28 Feb

Welcome to this week’s Weekly Rassling Rundown. Let’s dive into this week’s WWE Raw, SmackDown, and NXT shows!

Raw Logo
Welcome everyone, to Monday Night RAW!
  • The heavily edited recap of Ronda Rousey’s WWE signing at Elimination Chamber turned a disaster into something half-decent.
  • Alexa Bliss’ sh*t talking on the microphone never gets old.
  • Not sure why but after teaming up with Alexa last week, Mickie James is now best friends with the Raw Women’s Champion again.
  • Asuka and Alexa’s colour scheme makes them look like a tag team.
  • If people thought Alexa speaking slowly to Asuka so she can understand her was racist, they clearly didn’t see Jinder Mahal’s cringeworthy, blatant racist promos towards Shinsuke Nakamura.
  • Bayley and Sasha Banks come out to save Asuka from a beatdown. Yes, even after being betrayed multiple times by Sasha, Bayley is still her friend. I couldn’t agree more with Johnathan Coachman when he suggested Bayley might have short-term memory loss. It’s the only way to justify Bayley’s stupidity at this point.
  • “Some may say the ladies stole the show (Elimination Chamber) last night!” Michael Cole remarked. No… They didn’t.
  • Bayley hopping off the ring apron to deny Sasha the tag was perfect. The crowd loved it. Even I applauded her. Looks like she might not have short-time memory loss after all.
  • This 6-Women Tag Team Match was a lot better than the 6-Women Elimination Chamber match.
  • Did you know WWE Elimination Chamber had more social media activity than the Winter Olympics Closing Ceremony? Really? That’s amazing. Did you also know that no one cares about the Winter Olympics because it’s not the actual Olympics?
  • “Guys, I’ve never seen John Cena look so distraught in all the years I’ve known him,” Michael Cole said as John Cena happily ran down to the ring like he always does.
  • Cena’s so desperate to get into WrestleMania he wanted to face the Undertaker ten years too late. He then swerves everyone by telling them it isn’t happening. Thank God. Undertaker doesn’t need and shouldn’t have to wrestle anymore. His body can’t take it, plus you’d take away a win that Roman Reigns deserves. Then again Cena loves to outdo everyone, so it makes sense.
  • Cena’s plan to get into WrestleMania basically involves him telling Raw “screw you guys, I’m going over to SmackDown”.
  • Sadly, the between Bray Wyatt and Matt Hardy isn’t over.
  • A second recap of Ronda Rousey’s contract signing played in case you didn’t see it the first time.
  • I loved The Miz’s promo about being told he “might” have a match at WrestleMania. His passion for being Intercontinental Champion and his anger for not being considered for WrestleMania was evident.
  • We get treated to a hell of a match between The Miz and Seth Rollins, then a hell of a match between The Miz and Finn Balor. Looks like a triple threat between the three for the Intercontinental Title at WrestleMania. Should be a hell of a match!
  • Roman Reigns’ promo on Brock Lesnar being a part-timer was great. It was so good the crowd was 100% behind him. This is going to rally everyone behind Roman when he (hopefully) dethrones Brock as champion.
  • Not only do we get The Bar vs Titus Worldwide again, we get to see them in a 2-out-of-3 Falls Match. Thank god The Bar beat them quickly 2-0.
  • As soon as Elias blinded Braun Strowman with a fire extinguisher, why did I immediately assume they’re going to have a Blind Fold Match at WrestleMania?
  • Ronda Rousey contract signing recap played for a THIRD GOD DAMN TIME!!! We get it! She’s in the WWE!
  • Stephanie McMahon said Kurt Angle was suffering from double pneumonia. Yes, double pneumonia. I know she was exaggerating but really?
  • Also, WWE have no problem keeping an employee around with pneumonia but will send anyone home who has viral meningitis.
  • Kurt apologised to Ronda and said he made everything up. Kurt said he’s desperate to keep his job. It must be costing him an arm and a leg to pay back Jason Jordan’s mother for all those years of owed child support.
  • Ronda looked sadder than Bayley.
  • Ronda demanded an apology from Stephanie for slapping her at Elimination Chamber. Ronda also threatened to rip Stephanie’s arm out of its socket if she didn’t get it. I’m not sure if that’s how you want to treat your new boss at your new workplace.
  • Triple H punched Kurt Angle and the segment ended. A very anticlimactic way to send both the segment and Raw.

 

Smackdown Logo
Welcome to SmackDown – The Land of Opportunity!
  • The Bludgeon Brothers have merged together to form John Cena. That, or someone is getting fired for accidently making the the Bludgeon Brothers graphic appear when Cena came out.
  • Cena demanded to have a shot at the WWE Championship at Fastlane even though he didn’t come to SmackDown “just for a handout”.
  • Shane McMahon came out to remind us we’re in Los Angeles.
  • Both Shane and Daniel Bryan agree to put the returning Cena in a match against WWE Champion AJ Styles on SmackDown. If Cena wins, he’s in the match. They really don’t want to see AJ Styles vs Shinsuke Nakamura at WrestleMania, do they?
  • Shane argued with Daniel over the fact Kevin Owens is doing commentary during the Baron Corbin/Sami Zayn match. This storyline is dragging out way too long and is starting to get annoying.
  • “Have you watched this match? It’s been awesome,” Daniel told Shane who walked away to get popcorn. I wouldn’t know if this match has been awesome since the cameras repeatedly cut away from the ring to the backstage.
  • Shane was fine with Dolph Ziggler interfering in the match and attacking all three men.
  • “Naomi is one of the most gifted athletes in the WWE,” Tom Phillips said right after Naomi jiggled her butt in Ruby Riott’s face.
  • The backstage segment promoting this “Unsolved” show was bad. Not even the Fashion Files could save it.
  • The fact the Usos have never been on WrestleMania in the past six years is shocking. They have more of a right to complain about not being on WrestleMania than Cena has a right to complain about potentially missing his first WrestleMania in fifteen years.
  • The lack of Shinsuke Nakamura (again) disturbs me.
  • The lack of Rusev Day (AGAIN) disturbs me more.
  • Shinsuke Nakamura vs Aiden English with Rusev in his corner. Seriously, it’s like someone from WWE was reading my blog and didn’t want me to be disturbed anymore.
  • If WWE are really reading this blog, the appearance of John Cena on all future WWE shows, including WrestleMania, disturbs me.
  • AJ and Cena had another good match though this one wasn’t as good as their previous. Cena was sloppy and screwed up some of his moves. But it’s ok, because Cena is now going to have another shot at another major championship!
  • Seriously, how the F@#$ have the Usos never had a WrestleMania match in six years?!

 

NXT Logo
Meanwhile, at NXT…
  • The recap of Johnny Gargano and Andrade “Cien” Almas was amazing. Hats off to the person who put the package together.
  • Velveteen Dream vs. Tyler Bate was just as good as I thought it would be.
  • I feel like I need to have a cigarette every time Adam Cole (BAY BAY) nails his perfect super kicks. The only other time I feel like I need to have a cigarette when watching wrestling is when Finn Balor tenses his body showing off his stupidly perfect ten-pack.
  • I loved the Street Profits interviewing themselves on the street while pretending to be random people. Funny stuff.
  • Not sure what I disliked more about the women’s match: Shayna Baszler no selling Kairi Sane’s offence, or the fact Baszler made Kairi tap out.
  • Seriously, stop giving Almas the microphone. He isn’t good. Just let Zelina Vega do all the talking.
  • Aleister Black vs Killian Dain should be a pretty good match.

That’s all for this edition of WRR! Let me know when you thought of this week’s shows. Feedback is welcomed too! Thanks for reading and I’ll see you next week!