Behind The Pixels – Mega Man 2

megaman2Mega Man 2, also known as Rock Man 2: Mystery of Dr Wily in Japan, is responsible for putting the 8-bit blue bomber on the map. It’s regarded as being one of the best in the series as well as being one of the best NES games.

Let’s not forget that’s awesome soundtrack. Best in the series.

Some would argue that Mega Man 3 has the best soundtrack.

Some would argue that, but they’re wrong.

Anyway, Mega Man 2 takes place in the year of 200X. It’s been a year since Mega Man defeated the evil Dr Wily. Now the evil doctor has returned seeking revenge for his defeat, and this time he’s created eight of his own robots to do his bidding.

Wily built all of them?

All of them.

All eight of them?

Yes.

We’re certain Wily designed all eight? Are we sure he didn’t reprogram Dr Light’s robots again, or reprogram at least one of them?

For the third time, yes these robots are Wily’s creations? Why do you keep asking this?

MM2BubbleManIf Wily is meant to be pure evil, why design a robot who shoots bubbles?! How is Bubble Man dangerous?

The name of the weapon you get is called Bubble Lead. Bullets are made from lead. Therefore, the bubbles are bullets.

Seriously? That’s your answer? Why not just redesign him and call him Water Man? Was Wily just saving Water Man for a later game?

There never was a Water Man in any of the Mega Man games.

…That’s even worse! Bubble Man is officially the first water-based robot master. He should have a powerful high-pressured water cannon, not crappy bubbles.

Don’t go crapping on Bubble Man’s bubbles! His weapon is the only weapon that can damage the final boss.

How?! How, out of ALL the weapons in Mega Man 2, are bubbles the weakness of the final F#$@ing boss!

bubbleleadWell, that’s kind of a good point. You can charge up a powerful fireball when you defeat Heat Man. You can fire off streams of boomerangs when you defeat Quick Man. You can throw razor-sharp buzzsaws when you defeat Metal Man.

You can flash when you defeat Flash Man. Why can’t we just flash the final boss to death?

Because you don’t “flash” the boss, you stop time. Look, you don’t have to like Bubble Man’s bubbles, but you got to give him props for his awesome stage music.

I’m more of a Wood Man theme fan, but Bubble’s is good too.

Back to the story, or what little there is of it, Wily wants revenge and Mega Man battles him and his eight robots. Mega Man defeats them all as well as Wily. The evil doctor surrenders and peace is restored.

That’s it?

That’s it. The end. See, not much of a storyline going on here.

So, if I wasn’t raging about Bubbles this post would’ve ended a long time ago.

Pretty much! See you next week for Mega Man 3!

F#$@ing bubbles…

Whatcha Writing There, Thorne? (2 Apr Book Update)

Howdy Thorne! Been doing much writing lately?

Indeed I have! Last week has seen a lot of work go into Encyclopedia Sarcadia.

How far are we from the completion of Encyclopedia Sarcadia?

Still a little way to go. If I had to give it a percentage I’d say there’s about 10% of the encyclopedia to complete. Though it might seem like I don’t have much more to write, there are still some sections I haven’t started yet.

What’s there left to complete that you haven’t started yet?

Sarcadia’s timeline needs some more work and they’ll be sections of the encyclopedia which will expand a bit on important people and events throughout the world’s history. At this stage I don’t anticipate these sections will take too long to complete, but the way my brain works the world and its lore is forever growing and expanding.

What new additions have been included in Encyclopedia Sarcadia since the last update?

Last week I added information regarding various races and supernatural creatures. We now have ghouls, ghosts, reptilians, draconians, blood fiends, the Discarded, the Dolls, and most importantly – werewolves.

That’s a lot of new additions! Let’s pick a few and talk about them briefly, shall we?

Sure thing. What would you like for me to talk about?

Let’s talk about ghouls. Are they zombie-like creatures?

Not really. A ghoul isn’t some type of demon in the world of Sarcadia. A ghoul is someone who’s unfortunate enough to have been “half turned” by a vampire. Part of the process for a vampire to turn a human involves the vampire allowing the human to drink several mouthfuls of their blood.

If a human is only given a small amount of vampiric blood, let’s say a sip, they will not undergo a complete transformation. Instead they’ll become a ghoul, a creature which isn’t a vampire nor is it a human. They become a weak, skeletal-like version of their former-selves left to suffer for an eternity.

That sounds terrifying for the ghoul. Let’s move on to reptilians and draconians.

Reptilians and draconians are two reptile-humanoids who primarily live on the swamp continent of Stagnum. Most reptilians aren’t hostile towards humans and frequently engage in trade with the coastal towns and villages throughout Sarcadia. They’re much slimmer and weaker than their draconian cousins, but what they lack in strength they make up for in agility.

Draconians are larger and stronger than reptilians. They despite their weaker cousins though not as much as they detest humans. They will attack any person foolish enough to venture too close to their encampments. It’s their aim to one day regain control of Stagnum, to remove the human presence from their homeland, and to re-enslave the reptilian population.

They sound dangerous, but not as dangerous as werewolves. Let’s talk about them, shall we?

Sure thing. I’ll keep it short since there’s a lot to talk about. Unlike the common werewolf found in movies and novels, werewolves aren’t the result of a curse nor are they human. They were created by the ancient Tenebite known as Xensaroch, the Tyrant of Lycans. Xensaroch scouted Sarcadia for its best wolf packs. The wolves the Lycan Tyrant deemed worthy were transformed into humans, who could then shift into anthropomorphic wolves.

The breed of a werewolf varies per continent. Some werewolves are large and strong, while others are small and swift. Some wish to co-exist with humans, while others seek to butcher them in honour of their Lycan Tyrant.

That sounds very interesting. I wonder what role they’ll play in the Cardinal series.

I guess you’ll need to wait for the novels to come out to find out.

I guess we will but until then, it’s best you get back to work!

Photo Credit @minan1398

Weekly Rassling Rundown 26 – 28 Mar

Welcome to this week’s Weekly Rassling Rundown. Let’s dive into this week’s WWE Raw, SmackDown, and NXT shows!

Raw Logo
Welcome everyone, to Monday Night RAW!
  • Brock Lesnar shows up on Raw two weeks in a row! That’s gotta be a new record for him.
  • We’re told Brock will be facing “the same Roman Reigns he beat up last week”. Is there a second Roman Reigns we didn’t know about?
  • Corey Graves says Brock’s attack on Roman was calculated. The Coach replies with, “You called it calculated, I call it perfect timing”. Coach, that’s exactly what a calculated attack means. You really are getting more stupid by the week, aren’t you?
  • Paul Heyman says Roman isn’t man enough to take another beating from Brock. Roman proves him wrong by doing this.
  • For a second week in a row, Brock can beatdown his opponent without any punishment or without anyone coming out to stop him. Listen up Kurt Angle, you need to protect Raw’s main event at WrestleMania. Even Shinsuke Nakamura and AJ Styles are looking after themselves on SmackDown!
  • I thought Nia Jax calling Alexa Bliss, a “little Bliss” was a clever way for her to get around the censors… Until she flat-out called her a “little bitch” which went uncensored anyway.
  • *Yawn* More recaps of Ronda
  • Stephanie McMahon is terrifyingly strong. Nice training montage on her part though if she really wanted to prove us she’s serious, she should’ve replicated the training montage her father did when he was training to fight Steve Austin back in the Attitude Era.
  • Stephanie & Triple H’s video package was much better than Angle & Ronda’s. Then again, if you’re the boss you only settle for the best.
  • Good to see the Cruiserweights back on Raw. I think the match between Cedric Alexander and Mustafa Ali will be great at WrestleMania.
  • “Cruiserweights have a tendency to steal the show,” Michael Cole said mere seconds before Raw cut to a commercial.
  • This week Raw was live from Cleveland, Ohio which is where The Miz lives. They obviously love their homeboy and showed this by chanting “Welcome Home”. How does The Miz respond? “I live in LA.” Cue immediate boos and jeers. This is why the Miz is awesome.
  • MizTV this week was perfect from start to finish. I honestly thought Curtis Axel and Bo Dallas were going to turn on The Miz. It felt like Miz was going to lose almost everything going into WrestleMania. Well done to the Miztourage for fooling everyone with their great acting, though it’s a shame we won’t get to see a “wrestling legacy tag team” in Curtis & Bo moving forward.
  • That was a nice, old school promo from Kane.
  • A “newcomer” called Jamie Frost talks about how she’s going to destroy Asuka. She then proceeds to get knocked out within five seconds by the Empress of Tomorrow. This is how they should’ve been building Asuka’s main roster run from the start.
  • Great, an unwanted recap of the unwanted Ultimate Deletion match.
  • Thankfully, Matt Hardy will be on the ARMBAR at WrestleMania.
  • “That was… OBNOXIOUS!” Well done Michael Cole for saying what I’ve been thinking (and hopefully a lot more people out there).
  • We’re constantly being told whoever wins the ARMBAR at WrestleMania goes on to “launch a successful career.” Cesaro won the first four years ago, and it took just as long for his success to kick off. Big Show won the second, but his career was always successful at this point. Baron Corbin and Mojo Rawley won the following two and… Yeah it doesn’t look good for this year’s winner. Prove me wrong guys! Prove me wrong…
  • Sasha Banks responses to Bayley’s text message by approaching her and telling her she got her text. You could’ve saved yourself a lot of time and just texted her back, Sasha.
  • “I can’t beat you?” a confused Sasha asked Bayley. That’s correct Sasha. It’s been proven you can’t beat her multiple times.
  • Damn, that was a brutal locker room brawl between Sasha and Bayley. I’m glad the referees broke them up instead of stopping Brock’s beatdown of Roman earlier.
  • While I’m happy for Braun to be getting a match at WrestleMania and potentially holding championship gold, I’m a bit annoyed about the situation with the Raw Tag Team Championship. It would’ve been better for the titles to be contested between two established tag teams. Isn’t that what the Tag Team Championship is about?
  • Ronda isn’t the baddest woman on the planet, Kurt. The honour should be going to either Holly Holm or Amanda Nunes.
  • Wow, Ronda’s makeup makes her look like she’s possessed by a conjunctivitis demon.
  • Why is Ronda still looking nervous when she comes out? She should be used to the crowd sizes, especially during her UFC days. If she’s this nervous on Raw, she’ll sh*t herself when she wrestles her first match at WrestleMania.
  • Ronda says Stephanie is tough but “she’s personal trainer tough”. I’m sorry Ronda, but at this stage Stephanie has a lot more wrestling experience than you, therefore making her more “wrestling tough” than you.
  • Paige still thinks the ring is her house. Someone needs to give her a lesson in real estate.
  • Ronda delivered an ugly looking suplex to Mandy Rose. It also looked like Mandy had to tell her what to do. At least that judo hip toss thing looked good. Did I name the move correctly? I guess I’ll wait for Ronda to judo-splain it to me.
  • If Cena wants a path to WrestleMania so badly, why doesn’t he just enter the ARMBAR?
  • I wonder if Luke Gallows’ educated feet went to the same school as Rob Van Dam’s.
  • “Why is John Cena disrespecting the Undertaker?” Even the WWE wants an answer to this.
  • They really need to reposition the Snickers logo when they’re running through the WrestleMania matches. It looks like AJ Styles will now be facing “Snickers Nakamura” instead of Shinsuke.
  • Annoying recap of Cena sh*ting on the Undertaker is annoying.
  • If you’re going to mock the Undertaker’s taunts Cena, you might not want to make it look like you’re constipated.
  • “You only care about yourself,” Cena said, completely forgetting he’s doing this because he’s desperate to secure himself a spot on the WrestleMania card.
Smackdown Logo
Welcome to SmackDown – The Land of Opportunity!
  • Nice video package of the Sami Zayn/Kevin Owens/Daniel Bryan segment from last week.
  • Randy Orton needs to decide whether he wants to have a shaved head or if he wants to let his hair grow out.
  • Damn it! Sunil’s too injured to wrestle?! This is unacceptable!
  • Rusev is Sunil’s replacement? I’m cool with this.
  • Orton doesn’t want to wrestle because his hoodie vest is still on.
  • Wow, did Tom Phillips really call Rusev, “Rudolph”?
  • Rusev got the pin on Orton?! Happy Rusev Day!
  • Jinder Mahal is apparently going to celebrate his potential US Title win more than his WWE Championship
  • WrestleMania has now officially been renamed RusevMania. Get ready for another t-shirt!
  • Shinsuke Nakamura’s English and promos have gotten so much better. They were good in NXT, but the improvement is great to see.
  • Becky Lynch picks up another win! That means she isn’t winning the Lady’s ARMBAR.
  • Daniel Bryan walks out wearing a cardigan, t-shirt and jeans. It looks like he just woke up very early on a Saturday and stumbled out of his house in the suburbs. He looks down at the Saturday morning newspaper thrown on his front lawn. He wearily walks out to collect it, inadvertently stepping in dog faeces generously left there by his next-door neighbour’s chihuahua. His frustration hits boiling point when he’s drenched by the sprinklers and runs back inside, complaining angrily to Brie Bella as she’s making vegan pancakes for breakfast. …That kinda went a bit too far, didn’t it? The point is, I think the world needs a gritty reboot of Beethoven.
  • Daniel Bryan reminds us we’re in Pittsburgh.
  • The crowd blending “You still got it” and “Daniel Bryan” chants made it sound like they were chanting “You Daniel Bryan”.
  • It’s ok Daniel, you can say ass. You can even say bitch or bastard. You just can’t say sh*t and F#$% on a PG show.
  • Cena’s being a very bad role model to everyone in the locker room. Now Shelton Benjamin & Chad Gable are crying about not having a match at WrestleMania so now they’re going to do whatever they need to do to get on it. Guys, it’s called the ARMBAR. Go sign up for it.
  • New Day, it’s not a good idea for you to be teasing the Bludgeon Brothers after what they did to you. It’s also annoying to see New Day reverting back to their joking ways to address the vicious beatdown they suffered at the hands of Harper and Rowan.
  • Apparently, Shane McMahon suffered diverticulitis and has a hernia from the beatdown he received from Owens and Zayn. WWE really need to start consulting a medical expert for their storylines.
  • Fandango got a good cardio work out.
  • The crowd doesn’t know if they should be booing Nakamura or Styles.
  • Great segment between Nakamura and Styles. Again, Nakamura’s microphone skills have vastly improved and him teasing the Kinshasa was fantastic.
NXT Logo
Meanwhile, at NXT…
  • Unsanctioned match between Johnny Gargano and Tommaso Ciampa at NXT Takeover? #sploosh
  • It’s good to see a second championship be brought in for NXT. As for calling it the “North American Championship”, I’m not 100% sure on the name, especially when you’re trying to put it on the same level as the UK Championship and say the title represents North America. Then again, the UK Championship won’t be used as a fill-in title, especially with rumours flying around the WWE UK show might finally be going head.
  • Mauro Ranallo doesn’t know what EC3 stands for. If he watched TNA, he’d known it stands for Ethan Carter III. Hell, even I knew what he stands for and I never watched TNA.
  • I don’t know what pissed me off more: TM61 trying get over in a backstage interview only to be interrupted by a fight between Shayna Baszler and Ember Moon, or Shayna Baszler being on my TV. There’s seriously too much focus on this match.
  • You only have yourself to blame for your loss, Montez Ford. Even Paul Ellering warned you not to go after him.
  • “You look well,” Velveteen Dream said to William Regal. “I know,” Mr Regal replied.
  • After watching many episodes of old school WWF, I’m convinced Lars Sullivan is Psycho Sid.
  • Andrade “Cien” Almas attacked Aleister Black so bad he tore his clothes apart.
  • NXT officials came out to stop Almas AFTER he attempts to drown him in an ice box full of water. What happened to that awesome security team last week?
  • I’m a bit annoyed at how Pete Dunne and Roderick Strong have gone through to the finals of the Dusty Rhodes Tag Team Classic. It looks like they’ll be winning the tournament and will face off against Undisputed Era at Takeover. The tournament should be used to honour the memory of Dusty Rhodes, and not be used to progress the storyline of what will be a quick and forgettable feud.

That’s all for this edition of WRR! Let me know when you thought of this week’s shows. Feedback is welcomed too! Thanks for reading and I’ll see you next week!

Weekly Rassling Rundown 19 – 21 Mar

Welcome to this week’s Weekly Rassling Rundown. Let’s dive into this week’s WWE Raw, SmackDown, and NXT shows!

Raw Logo
Welcome everyone, to Monday Night RAW!

 

  • For some reason, Kurt Angle doesn’t know what to do about Braun Strowman illegally entering and illegally winning a Tag Team Battle Royale. It’s simple – REDO THE MATCH!!!
  • Roman Reigns breaking his suspense wasn’t surprising, the fact WWE allowed him to have a live microphone was.
  • Angle might need to have his neck medically examined. It was getting redder the more he talked, and his veins tripled in size as well. That’s not a good sign…
  • Three US Marshalls were beat up by Reigns while he was handcuffed. Either Reigns is overpowered, or US Marshalls are terrible at law enforcement.
  • Brock Lesnar finally appearing on Raw to beat down on a handcuffed Roman Reigns was great. Brock was hated and Roman gained a lot of support from the crowd… Until they were highjacked by moronic fans chanting “You Deserve It”.
  • Speaking of Lesnar’s beatdown of Reigns, why didn’t the locker room come out to stop Brock like they always do in these situations? It would’ve been great to see the entire WWE Raw roster come out to support Reigns.
  • Why did I assume Braun Strowman was going to appear when Reigns was being loaded into the ambulance?
  • For some reason, Mickie James now looks like she’s part of the cast of Desperate Housewives of New Jersey.
  • I don’t understand why Alexa Bliss thinks talking sh*t about Nia Jax while standing in the middle of the ring is a smart idea, especially when she knows Nia will be coming for her.
  • Asuka definitely picked the correct person to face at WrestleMania. Her match against Bliss was average at best.
  • Did Nia have to slow down to allow Alexa to get away from her? Damn, looks really can be deceiving.
  • Alexa Bliss vs. Nia Jax at WrestleMania was predictable. Hopefully Nia gets the win. After these past few weeks she really deserves it.
  • Kurt Angle has allowed Braun Strowman to pick a partner in his match against The Bar at WrestleMania. Again, why was Braun allowed to win a match he didn’t have a right to be in?
  • Matt Hardy’s kids seem just as uninterested in the Ultimate Deletion Match as I am.
  • Within a week Coach has gone from being the most logical member on the commentary team to being stupid almost on a Bryon Saxton level.
  • The Revival’s plan to prove how good of a tag team they are is to downgrade themselves to the WrestleMania preshow and be forgotten in the Andre The Giant Memorial Battle Royal (AKA the ARMBAR).
  • Great to see Mark Henry being inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame. I hope the hand he fathered with Mae Young gets to induct him.
  • The dragging out of the Sasha/Bayley saga continues with the two teaming up. Sasha Banks clearly explains the “every woman for herself” scenarios her and Bayley have been, yet Bayley still doesn’t understand why Sasha keeps turning on her during the matches. Though Sasha is meant to be coming off as the mean friend, this feud is making Bayley look like a bigger moron than usual.
  • John Cena continuing to bash Undertaker for “being embarrassed” about his WrestleMania loss and for being a coward is already getting old.
  • The crowd chants “Undertaker” when Cena asks them if they want to see him. This is apparently enough proof for Cena to prove people want to see the Deadman wrestle. To be fair, they’d be chanting for Stone Cold Steve Austin if Cena asked them if they want to see him wrestle again. Or the Rock. Or Mankind. Shawn Michaels…
  • Why is Cena trying to make Undertaker look like the bad guy by saying he’s disrespecting people by not giving us an answer? Isn’t it disrespectful (and egotistical) to try and get a 53-year-old man, who’s suffering from many injuries, to come out of retirement for one night?
  • Thank you Kane for choke slamming Cena! Also Cena, if you want Kane to give you an answer from the Undertaker, you shouldn’t move the microphone away from him.
  • For some reason, The Miz broke kayfabe and asked the crowd if he’s a heel.
  • Miz referred to Finn Balor as “Prince Nevitt” instead of his old wrestling name “Prince Devitt”. Devitt also happens to be Finn’s real surname. Maybe Miz has Neville on the mind.
  • Balor flexed. I splooshed.
  • Balor picking up two victories two weeks in a row means he’ll be losing at WrestleMania.
  • The package they played telling us about Ronda Rousey’s history reminded me a lot about the video packages NXT ran for Roderick Strong – two wrestlers with no gimmick who are struggling to get over with the WWE audience. Wait, that’s mean for Strong. I should’ve said one talented wrestler (Strong) and one potential dud of a wrestler (Rousey). There, all fixed.
  • All I took away from that Ronda video package was the fact she cried about losing two matches in UFC and couldn’t handle the losses, so she jumped ship to WWE. Great role model for young women and girls everywhere. If at first you don’t succeed, give up and try somewhere else.
  • You just know the Ultimate Deletion match is going to be horrible when Michael Cole issues an apology to the WWE fans for what they’re about to watch.
  • The Ultimate Deletion Match is just a “Falls Count Anywhere” Match held at Matt Hardy’s house filmed in the middle of the night. There was background music playing and the match resembled more of a bad Hollywood action movie than an actual wrestling match. It was terrible. I hated it. I seriously don’t understand why people like this Woken/Broken gimmick. Someone please, explain it to me.
  • Bray Wyatt has now been ultimately buried… I mean “deleted”. What the hell did that guy do to deserve this? At least the rest of the Wyatt Family are doing well. Three out of four ain’t bad, I suppose.
Smackdown Logo
Welcome to SmackDown – The Land of Opportunity!
  • I’ve got mixed feelings about Daniel Bryan returning to the ring. While it’s good to see him wrestle again, I fear his popularity is going to hurt the pushes and popularity of other wrestlers. I might expand on this later in a separate post.
  • Daniel thanks the WWE medical staff. That’s something you’ll never see CM Punk do.
  • Another good match between Rusev and Shinsuke Nakamura. AJ Styles taking his time to help him was good as well.
  • Natalya Neidhart tells Charlotte Flair she senses the SmackDown Women’s Champion’s fear of losing to Asuka. Natalya’s mutant power confirmed.
  • I seriously love the backstage taunting between Nakamura and Styles. WWE know they don’t have to do much to build their match at WrestleMania and it’s working well.
  • When I looked at Baron Corbin’s opponent in the ring I thought “Hmm, looks like they’re using a local wrestler to job to Baron”. It was actually Tye Dillinger. Remember when he was just more than enhancement talent when he was in NXT?
  • That was an ugly botch of Corbin’s End of Days finisher…
  • Pretty good match between Natalya and Charlotte. Charlotte taking the loss from Carmella’s Money in the Bank cash in attempt was a nice touch. Maybe Natalya was right – Charlotte is afraid of her WrestleMania match against Asuka.
  • Jesus Christ, Rowan’s steampunk sheep mask is terrifying.
  • Randy Orton will now defend the WWE US Title in a Triple Threat Match at WrestleMania against Jinder Mahal and Bobby Roode. Called it.
  • Glad to see Becky Lynch finally picking up a win instead of losing!
  • Sami Zayn and Kevin Owens are now best friends again, even after Zayn and Owens turned on each other to try and win the WWE Championship. They understood it was “every man for himself”. Take note, Bayley.
  • Zayn and Owens getting fired by Bryan and their vicious beatdown of him was fantastic. All three men were great together and everything felt emotional. However, where the HELL was security? How were Owens and Zayn, two employees who were just fired, allowed to beat up their former boss without any interference? Not even the roster came out to stop them from beating down someone who was just medically cleared after two years of being benched!
  • Between Raw and SmackDown, the EMTs are getting a lot of work.
NXT Logo
Meanwhile, at NXT…

 

  • These Johnny Gargano signs are getting bigger by the week.
  • That crowd pop when Gargano finally appeared and attacked Tommaso Ciampa was great.
  • Gargano, a former NXT wrestler who was fired, illegally attacks Ciampa, a current NXT wrestler. Security immediately come out and remove Gargano from the building because he has no right to be there. Looks like NXT General Manager William Regal took note from what happened on Raw and SmackDown this week.
  • Tyler Bate not being in the Dusty Rhodes Tag Team Classic makes me a sad panda. In all seriousness, it sucks to see Bate injured. Hopefully he isn’t out for too long.
  • Why does Roderick Strong think he’s entitled to opportunities when he’s repeatedly lost?
  • Not sure if I like Pete Dunne teaming up Strong. Dunne’s a lone wolf (sorry Corbin) so him teaming with Strong seems a bit off. He’d only have to be in it for the opportunity to capture more gold.
  • Great to see Oney Lorcan complete again. I’ve missed his hard-hitting style.
  • Not only is Shayna Baszler bad at interviews, she’s also bad on commentary.
  • Baszler’s comment that “no one’s tried to stop her” from doing what she wants is technically true – and annoying. Regal told Baszler from the beginning her attitude wouldn’t be tolerated, so why does he allow her to get away with attacking women? Why does he continue to reward her bad behaviour by giving her title shots?
  • Andrade “Cein” Almas angrily told us Aleister Black disrespected him last week. I’m really confused as to why Almas thinks this, considering HE was the one to no-show his contract signing last week.
  • Lars Sullivan is coming back! I can’t wait to hear that theme again!
  • Kassius Ohno and Adam Cole’s match was great from start to finish. I sh*t myself twice when Cole hit his Last Shot neckbreaker to the much heavier Ohno. Cole hitting Ohno with repeated superkicks was a nice way to end the match as well.

That’s all for this edition of WRR! Let me know when you thought of this week’s shows. Feedback is welcomed too! Thanks for reading and I’ll see you next week!

Behind The Pixels – Mega Man 1

Mega Man – everyone’s favourite 8-bit blue character! If you live in Japan, you’ll know him as Rock Man. Mega Man was one of the first video games I played on the Nintendo. The Mega Man series would spawn ten games from 1987 – 2010. In 2018 we’ll say hello to Mega Man 11!

Ah Capcom. If there’s one video game company that really knows how to water down a series, it’s them.

I love the Mega Man series. They’re fun to play, easy to pick up and learn, and slightly rage-inducing.

HA! “Slightly” with you is an extreme understatement.

Anyway, I never paid much attention to the story behind Mega Man when I was a kid. I always assumed it was about an evil inventor named Dr Wily looking to conquer the world. Dr Light invents Mega Man to stop him and save the day.

But there’s more to it, isn’t there?

Yes, there is, and the story of the first Mega Man game varies depending on what version of the game.

How can the story vary between the two? Wait, why do you even need more of a story than “stop the evil scientist?”

Well, how about we start off simple and look at Mega Man?

megaman1us

Oh God! Mega Man looks like he needs to ease up on shoulder days at the gym. Dr Light should’ve built him a neck.

According to the game manual, in a city called Monsteropolis lives a great inventor called Dr Light. With his assistant, Dr Wily, Light builds the first near-human robot – Mega Man. Six more robots are built to help society. Wily turns on Light by reprogramming all the robots to conquer the world. Mega Man resists, so Light reprograms him to defend the city and save the day.

For someone who should be protecting the city, there seems to be a lot of destruction going on in the background of that video game cover. Ok a few things. First, why did Wily turn on Light?

I’m guessing Wily’s jealous of Light, or maybe he Dr Light to fulfil his dreams of world domination. It’s never explained in the game manual.

Fair enough. Now my second question, how the HELL are these robots meant to help humanity?! I mean seriously, why did Dr Light think a robot called “Bomb Man” would be any benefit to society?

bombmanLook at the size of that bomb!

The game manual says Bomb Man was designed to clear lands for construction.

Really? That’s what Dr Light wanted people to think? What about Cut Man?You seriously think Decapitation Man was designed to just cut paper?

cutmanThe game manual says he was designed to clear forests. All of Light’s robots were designed for construction building. Fire Man to melt metal. Guts Man to do the heavy lifting. Elec Man to oversee electrical operations.

Ice Man to cool off everyone after a long, hard day of work?

He was designed to work under freezing conditions.

WOW! Sucks to be him. Alright, so let’s move on to Rock Man.

Sure thing.

megamanjap

Now this cover is much more adorable than the Mega Man cover. Still, don’t let the cuteness of the murder bots fool you.

The story of Rock Man goes back prior to the game. It begins with two university students studying robotics, Thomas Light and Albert Wily.

I’m guessing Thomas Light was named after Thomas “I Didn’t Steal My Inventions from Nikola Telsa” Edison and Albert Wily was named after Albert Einstein?

Yes.

Wait, shouldn’t it be the other way around? Why did they name Dr Wily after Albert Einstein? How was he evil?

Einstein’s research lead to the development of the atomic bomb.

wilyYeah I could see why Japan would villainise him. Now I think about it, Dr Wily kinda looks like Albert Einstein.

Light and Wily graduate and go on an invention spree. Light eventually creates the first artificial intelligent robot naming him Proto Man (who is known as Blues in the Japanese version). Proto Man ends up running away thinking Light wanted to reprogram him when in fact he wanted to just repair his malfunctioning power core.

Light continues his work and ends up making Rock (Mega Man) and his sister Roll who become his assistants. He then builds the six robot masters which leads to Wily sabotaging them for his world domination.

So why didn’t Wily reprogram Mega and/or Rock Man or Roll?

Basically, he thought they sucked. With Wily out of control, Rock offers to stop Wily so Light upgrades him into a murder bot. And the rest, as they say, is history. Mega Man goes on to defeat Wily and save the world.

Ten times.

Yeah… You’d think after Wily’s second attempt at world domination, Mega Man would put the evil scientist down for good, but I guess Mega Man is only capable of killing other robots like him, not real people.

Seems like a lotta back story for a basic game. Were the stories behind the other games in the Mega Man series just as interesting?

Some were very basic while others were… interesting.

I look forward to hearing about them!

And I look forward to telling them! Next week, we’ll dive into Mega Man 2. Until then, thanks for reading!

Weekly Rassling Rundown 12 – 15 Mar

Welcome to this week’s Weekly Rassling Rundown. Let’s dive into this week’s WWE Raw, SmackDown, and NXT shows!

Raw Logo
Welcome everyone, to Monday Night RAW!
  • Apparently, Stephanie McMahon & Triple H vs. Ronda Rousey & Kurt Angle is a dream match everyone has been waiting for. The only dream match people are waiting for is AJ Styles vs. Shinsuke Nakamura.
  • For the third time in a row, Brock Lesnar hasn’t showed up for work. Even when he isn’t around people still react to him.
  • Roman Reigns’ promo was on point once again and calling Brock “Vince’s boy” was perfect. He’s microphone skills are getting better, and the crowd’s getting behind him very well.
  • Roman confronting Vince McMahon in the production area?! Kayfabe broken!
  • Vince responding to Roman’s comments by suspending him was another great way to gain heat against Brock and support for Roman. I’m really looking forward to seeing Brock no show for a fourth time despite Vince’s promise he’ll be there.
  • Why is Bayley still accompanying Sasha Banks to the ring? It makes no sense especially when Bayley walked away from Sasha twice in two weeks.
  • With every passing week, Mandy Rose is looking more like Trish Stratus.
  • Kid Rock does a few songs for WWE, gets inducted into the Hall of Fame. I now know what I must do to be inducted.
  • Finn Balor and Seth Rollins coming out for an interview in their wrestling attire? They’ll be wrestling later tonight.
  • Miz’s face during Seth and Finn’s argument was gold.
  • The low quality of the Raw Tag Team Division greatly disturbs me.
  • Actually, the misuse of The Club and The Revival greatly disturbs me.
  • John Cena decides to come back to Raw to cry about not going to WrestleMania. Remember when he said he doesn’t abuse his free-agent status? Yeah, me neither…
  • Great, Cena wants to buy a ticket to WrestleMania and be part of the crowd. This tells me two things. One: Vince McMahon won’t give free tickets to his golden boy (sorry Brock). Two: Cena’s not content enough with burying wrestlers so he now wants to bury the fans.
  • Wow… Way to treat Roman like sh*t, Cena, by encouraging the crowd to boo him. Seriously, can this guy’s cry for attention be any more desperate?
  • Cena throwing down a challenge Undertaker is stupid. If Cena wins, he’ll be taking away Roman’s victory against Undertaker from last year’s WrestleMania.
  • In his attempt to draw out the Undertaker, Cena berates him by accusing him of being old, a coward and an egomaniac. Cena’s attempt to call Undertaker out on these grounds and try to have the fans turn against him was pathetic. It’s completely hypocritical for Cena to call Undertaker “an egomaniac” when he has been abusing his power for the last two months to try and secure a WrestleMania match.
  • We get a “special look” at Braun Strowman & Elias’ match from last week. And by “special look”, I mean “a replay”.
  • Braun demands competition and wants a match at WrestleMania. There you go, Cena. Go take on Braun. Problem solved.
  • Seth and Finn had a solid match and the ending was great. No one saw it coming which is why is worked beautifully.
  • Good to see WWE holding a Women’s Battle Royale in honour of Fabulous Moolah – an ancient female wrestler who allegedly pimped out her students and other female talent. Thank God they had common sense to rename it after the huge backlash they received. Pissing off the major sponsor for WrestleMania would cause you to change the name as well, I guess.
  • We get a “special look” at the upcoming Stephanie McMahon & Triple H vs. Ronda Rousey & Kurt Angle match. And by “special look”, I mean “a boring, five-minute video package”.
  • Even Alexa Bliss knows Asuka’s microphone skills aren’t good.
  • Both Alexa Bliss and Mickie James forget they were both beaten by Asuka in the past. Empress of Amnesia confirmed.
  • Asuka picked Charlotte because she wanted a challenge. Ouch Asuka, ouch.
  • The public backstabbing of Nia Jax by Alexa and Mickie was gold. Nia’s reaction and backstage outburst was spot on. Seriously, someone give this woman the Oscar for Best Actress!
  • Poor Bray Wyatt. Of all the people in the Wyatt Family, who would’ve thought it would’ve been Bray’s career going nowhere? And it isn’t his fault! Blame the bad booking for ruining his career and character!
  • After this “Ultimate Deletion Match”, please never let us see Woken and/or Broken Matt Hardy again.
  • “Did I do something wrong?”, Referee who was appointed as the official of the Wyatt/Hardy match next week. Yes, even the referee knows this is going to suck.
  • Braun enters himself in the Tag Team Battle Royale to determine who will face Raw Tag Team Champions, The Bar, at WrestleMania. The referee allows it, and Braun wins. I don’t know why this is allowed, but at least we finally get to see Braun hold a championship.
  • MVP of the night goes to Johnathan Coachman, for answering all of Michael Cole’s stupid questions with basic common sense.
Smackdown Logo
Welcome to SmackDown – The Land of Opportunity!
  • AJ Styles vs. Shinsuke Nakamura hype for WrestleMania… #sploosh
  • AJ Styles comes out to a huge pop. Shinsuke Nakamura comes out to a bigger pop. Leave it to Rusev Day to come back to an even bigger pop.
  • Solid match between AJ and Rusev. Rusev is so underutilised it’s depressing.
  • Nice backstage promo from the survivors of the Bludgeon Brothers’s bludgeoning: Big E and Jimmy and/or Jey Uso. Smart decision to have them team up for revenge.
  • I’m glad to see WWE didn’t have Big E come out to do his usual microphone stuff. Serious Big E is serious Big E.
  • Harper & Rowan have hammers. Big E and Jimmy and/or Jey have chairs. All we need are some ladders and tables, and we got ourselves a great WrestleMania match!
  • Sami Zayn’s character and microphone work over the last few months has been great. I really hope he continues his streak once this Kevin Owens/Shane McMahon feud is done.
  • Really nice promo between Charlotte Flair and Asuka. You can tell both women are legitimately excited to be facing one another at WrestleMania. The excitement from the crowd was there throughout the entire segment… And was promptly killed by Randy Orton coming out randomly.
  • Thanks for showing the world you can’t hold the WWE US Title correctly, Orton.
  • Bobby Roode is going to retain the WWE US Title. I believe the word you were looking for there, Mr Roode, was “regain”.
  • The crowd show their support for Bobby Roode, (a Canadian wrestler), by chanting “USA” as he wrestles against Jinder Mahal (a Canadian wrestler of Indian descent billed from India).
  • Corey Graves really hates Byron Saxton. I honestly think there might be legit beef between the two backstage. There’s no way the two can be acting this well.
  • What’s the bet ever female wrestler who tweeted about the Horrendous Moolah promptly deleted them after SmackDown?
  • Shane McMahon comes out to remind us we’re in Indianapolis this week.
  • Shane informs everyone he’ll be taking an indefinite leave from the WWE. I’d be excited about that news, but if I’ve learned anything from watching WWE for years it’s that he’ll be back in two weeks.
  • Shane gives us a nice parting gift by booking Sami Zayn vs. Kevin Owens at WrestleMania. Yes, the two people he hates are freely given a match at WrestleMania. Take note, Cena.
  • The Owens and Zayn beatdown of Shane was great.
  • “You’re being very mean right now!” SmackDown Fan, 2018.
NXT Logo
Meanwhile, at NXT…
  • Sanity beating Tino Sabbatelli & Riddick Moss was predictable. Also, why are Tino & Moss teaming again? I thought they didn’t like each other.
  • For a second week in a row, Tommaso Ciampa’s heat was nuclear. The crowd are strongly against Ciampa and he’s got them eating out of the palm of his hand without uttering a single word.
  • Why is Shayna Baszler continuing to come out each week to beat up wrestlers? Why is she being rewarded for this by getting another shot at the NXT Women’s Championship?
  • Not only does Baszler no-sell a very hard punch to the face from Ember Moon, she botches selling Ember’s finisher. If Baszler becomes the NXT Women’s Champion at TakeOver: New Orleans, you can kiss the NXT Women’s Division goodbye.
  • Street Profits vs. Heavy Machinery was a bit fun. Didn’t think Street Profits would get the win here.
  • Pete Dunne vs. Adam Cole was good, but not as good as the crowd thought it was. A few cool moves shouldn’t get fans automatically chanting “This Is Awesome” and “Fight Forever”.
  • The contract signing for Aleister Black vs. Andrade “Cien” Almas was disappointing. No NXT Champion and the focus went from Black vs. Almas to Zelina Vega vs. Candice LeRae.
  • For the first time in a while, this week’s NXT wasn’t the show of the week. I’m sure things will pick up steam in the weeks to come

That’s all for this edition of WRR! Let me know when you thought of this week’s shows. Feedback is welcomed too! Thanks for reading and I’ll see you next week!

Weekly Rassling Rundown 05 – 07 Mar

Welcome to this week’s Weekly Rassling Rundown. Let’s dive into this week’s WWE Raw, SmackDown, and NXT shows!

Raw Logo
Welcome everyone, to Monday Night RAW!
  • Stephanie McMahon must’ve read my blog last week when she referenced how much child support Kurt Angle pays.
  • Ronda Rousey wasted five minutes high-fiving every fan at ringside. Even Stephanie called her out for doing it.
  • Ronda still looks like she’s going to burst out crying whenever people chant her name.
  • Ronda can’t do drumrolls. She screwed up her announcement by naming Stephanie as her WrestleMania opponent as soon as the drumroll started.
  • I think everyone saw Triple H & Stephanie McMahon vs. Kurt Angle & Ronda Rousey at WrestleMania coming. It’s a smart move honestly. Ronda’s probably too green to go into a match solo, so Triple H and Kurt Angle will be carrying most of it.
  • Ronda’s only wrestling move at this stage is a Samoan drop, and a bad one at that.
  • I’m really getting annoyed at how WWE are playing interviews in the middle of matches. It’s too distracting.
  • Asuka vs. Nia Jax wasn’t as good as their previously encounters, though I thought the finish was good.
  • It’s a shame the Revival aren’t facing The Bar at WrestleMania. Their match on Raw should’ve served as a teaser for things to come.
  • John Cena has a shot at the WWE Championship which is a SmackDown title. This shot takes place on Fastlane, which is a SmackDown PPV. It’s totally logical for him to be on RAW INSTEAD OF BEING ON SMACKDOWN!
  • Cena stated he “doesn’t take his free-agent status for granted”, yet he comes to Raw to promote his SmackDown PPV match…
  • The reason why Cena came to Raw was to talk sh*t to his opponents who are on SmackDown, proving to everyone Cena is a coward who abuses his power.
  • Cena implied him being in a triple threat match against AJ Styles and Shinsuke Nakamura would be more epic than just singles match between AJ and Shinsuke. Seriously, is this guy for real? He said this just moments before he told everyone “I never hold people back” and “I don’t abuse my powers”.
  • Thank you Goldust for trying to save us from Cena’s bullsh*t. I can see him costing Cena the match at Fastlane, leading to a match between Goldust and Cena at WrestleMania.
  • John Cena, the only wrestler I know who can kick out of a low blow. Insert your “he has no balls” joke here.
  • Good to see Hillbilly Jim going into the WWE Hall of Fame! I thought he got inducted years ago.
  • Bayley cried about how Sasha Banks kept turning on her during their matches, despite her informing everyone she knew they were “every woman for herself” scenarios. Stop crying Bayley and get over it! Maybe you should’ve taken advantage of your “friendship” with Sasha Bank, just how Sasha has been taking advantage of it for months.
  • And the Oscar for Best Actress goes to… Nia Jax. Seriously, that was a great segment backstage. Alexa Bliss was great at being that fake, sincere friend and the water works Nia put on was believable. It reminded me a lot of Mark Henry’s awesome fake retirement angle.
  • A recap of the opening segment played, and it featured the drumroll spot Ronda screwed up – but fixed! Seriously! It was correctly edited in the replay! I don’t get the point of it though since everyone witnessed the screw up.
  • By the way, a “recap” shouldn’t be a “replay” of the entire segment.
  • Elias is apparently a one -man orchestra.
  • Braun Strowman is either a psychic or can teleport. I’m going with both.
  • Australia is having a stadium show. Word going around is that it’ll take place in the MCG in Melbourne. If I were an Australian who lives in Melbourne, I’d totally be excited about it. Oh wait… I am… #sploosh
  • Matt Hardy and Bray Wyatt don’t realise the Great War ended in 1918.
  • The Miz proved he can do a drumroll better than Ronda.
  • Whoever put together the Mizzie video packages deserves a raise and an induction into the WWE Hall of Fame. They were gold.
  • Seth Rollins shaving his beard doesn’t make him look like CrossFit Jesus. That makes me a sad panda.
  • “You won’t be competing against Seth Rollins. And you won’t be competing against Finn Balor. But, you will be competing against them in a Triple Threat match.” Kurt Angle, 2018. I seriously think it might be time for you to put down the microphone.
  • Paul Heyman cut a good first promo, then knocked it out of the park with his second. It was interesting to hear Heyman tell everyone “the title is Brock Lesnar’s bitch”. Heyman done his job by getting people to boo Brock, and it showed when Roman Reigns came out to cheers. The build towards Roman vs. Brock is going very well.

 

Smackdown Logo
Welcome to SmackDown – The Land of Opportunity!
  • Well, that segment between Charlotte Flair and Ruby Riott was anticlimactic. Thank God the two will have a solid match at Fastlane.
  • Sorry Sunil Singh, but you’re no Samir Singh on the mic.
  • Champ sits at announce table. Wrestlers fight outside the ring. Challenger to the champion’s title throws his opponent into the champ. Classic booking.
  • Jindal Mahal now has four victories over Randy Orton. I wonder who Orton will squash next in retaliation.
  • I can’t wait for see Sami Zayn turn on Kevin Owens at Fastlane. This has been booked so well.
  • Nakamura Day needs to be a thing. On a side note, Shinsuke has a hell of a voice. He needs to do a duet with Braun Strowman. Now THAT would be the ultimate WrestleMania moment.
  • “You can’t just make up your own holiday, bro.” Rusev, 2018.
  • I forgot Carmella won the Women’s Money in the Bank briefcase until she came out with it.
  • We get to see Naomi & Becky Lynch vs. Natalya & Carmella for some reason at Fastlane. Good to see Becky in a PPV match, annoying to see Naomi in a PPV match.
  • Hey look, the camera was set up outside in the perfect position at the perfect time to catch a “random guy” slipping on the snow! Hilarious!
  • AJ Styles agrees with 99.99% of the WWE Universe – John Cena needs to stay the F@#$ out of the AJ Style vs. Shinsuke Nakamura match at WrestleMania.
  • For some unexplained reason, Dolph Ziggler is now a heel.
  • Zayn and Owens interrupt AJ and Ziggler’s match, which leads to Shane McMahon coming out to restart the match as a Fatal 5-Way between the four as well as Baron Corbin. That’s probably the first time Shane actually made the right call.
  • Great Fatal 5-Way match and Zayn stealing the win by turning on Owens during the match was fantastic! My only issue was this isn’t the match on Fastlane, and Cena is going to steal the spotlight from everyone else.

 

NXT Logo
Meanwhile, at NXT…

 

  • Authors of Pain vs. TM61 is a good way to kick off the Dusty Rhodes Tag Team Classic. A shame TM61 didn’t win the match. I picked them to win the tournament.
  • I hope that confrontation between Pete Dunne and Adam Cole leads to them having a match.
  • The lack of Bianca Belair whipping people with her hair disturbs me.
  • Lacey Evans suddenly developed a Southern belle accent. It can’t hide how bad her promo skills are.
  • Speaking of bad promo skills, Shayna Baszler still sucks. They are giving her way too much airtime.
  • They say, “silence is golden”, which is exactly what Tommaso Ciampa’s segment was. It was perfect. The crowd HATE him so much for what he did to Johnny Gargano. Congratulations Ciampa, you’ll be hated by NXT fans for the rest of your life.
  • Ciampa’s new t-shirt is awesome. It’s a shame it’s not for sale because Ciampa refused to have it be sold. Congratulations Ciampa, you’ll be hated by NXT fans for eternity.
  • Pete Dunne will be defending the WWE UK Championship against Adam Cole. #sploosh
  • Aleister Black vs. Killian Dain was solid. I’d like to see them clash in the ring again in the future.
  • Aleister Black vs. Andrade “Cien” Almas for the NXT Championship should be amazing. I can’t wait for that match to happen!

That’s all for this edition of WRR! Let me know when you thought of this week’s shows. Feedback is welcomed too! Thanks for reading and I’ll see you next week!

Whatcha Writing There, Thorne? (12 Mar Book Update)

Howdy Thorne! Been doing much writing lately?

Heaps of writing! I’ve been cracking down on both Encyclopedia Sarcadia and my upcoming series for the blog, “Behind the Pixels” which should be ready in a week or so!

Damn! Sounds like you’ve been super busy. Let’s start with Encyclopedia Sarcadia. Where are we at?

Last week I continued to focus on all things dark and evil from Tenebris. I’m happy to say the section on witches has now been completed.

Witches ey? Are we talking about the ugly, green skinned hags who fly around on broomsticks?

Far from it. The witches of Sarcadia are practitioners of the dark arts who have learnt their craft from the books provided to them by Belzabardos, the Chatterer of Secrets. Not all witches are the same as there are various forms of black magic. For example, there are “hexxers” who specialise in curses while some witches may become “necromancers”, summoners who can raise and control the dead.

So can anyone become a witch? Is there something you need to do to get hold of this Belzabardos chap?

You need to provide a worthy sacrifice to the Chatterer of Secrets to not only get his attention, but to prove you’re serious about becoming a witch. Anyone can become a witch as long as the sacrifice is right. I should point out there are male witches too, so not every witch is a female. Male witches aren’t called “wizards”, or “sorcerers”, or “warlocks”. A male witch is called a witch. A female witch is called a witch.

Well, you know what they say, “A witch is a witch is a witch is a witch”! Have there been any powerful witches in Sarcadia’s history?

There have been a few. In fact, one is currently alive. Her name is Daiyu Shen and she is in command of the most powerful witch coven in Sarcadia. Her disciples are spread out all over the planet, committing inhumane and horrible acts to please the Chatterer of Secrets.

Then there was a witch by the name of Michael Karabos, a powerful necromancer who once terrorised Sarcadia. He amassed an army so powerful it took a combined effort of several armies to defeat him.

I want to know more, but I know you’re just saying this stuff to tease everyone.

Well, I did mention I’ll be providing some extracts from my book in due time. I’ll eventually start doing some “spotlight” posts on certain characters so my readers can start getting used to them. It would be another good way to introduce everyone to the Cardinal series.

I like the sound of that! So, this blog series you’re working on… We can expect it soon?

You definitely will be seeing it next week… If everything goes to plan of course! I’m going to briefly redirect all my attention to the “Behind The Pixels” series, which means I’ll be taking a quick break away from Encyclopedia Sarcadia. Fear not though, this just means I’ll be freed up to focus on it a lot more in the weeks to come.

Sounds like a plan! I’ll let you get back to it! Break a leg!

I’d rather break a leg than an arm, otherwise I wouldn’t be able to write…

Yeah, that would totally suck!

Photo Credit @minan1398

WWE Fastlane 2018 Review

WWE were nice enough to air Fastlane on a public holiday which means I got to watch the PPV live. Let’s break it down and take an in-depth look at how the night went.

1) Shinsuke Nakamura def. Rusev. Real solid opener for the PPV. The two worked well together and fired up the crowd for the rest of the night. I’d like to see Nakamura and Rusev have a few more matches together down the road. Nakamura winning wasn’t much of a surprise since WWE would want to give him as much momentum as possible going into WrestleMania.

2) Randy Orton def. Bobby Roode to win the WWE US Title. A second solid match in a row? Damn, Fastlane is actually producing some good stuff! Roode and Orton worked well together. I was a bit annoyed about Orton winning since he didn’t need the win. Jinder Mahal comes out after the match to beat down Orton. Roode hits a Glorious DDT to Jinder, then delivers one to Orton outta nowhere! Heel turn for Roode? I hope so. He’ll be able to excel more on the main roster as the arrogant heel we all loved in NXT.

RKO
Ok, that RKO outta nowhere was cool…

 

4) The Usos vs The New Day for the WWE SmackDown Tag Team Championship went to a no contest. Everyone was excited to see this match happen again, even if it’s like the tenth time we’ve seen it. While it might sound like I’m being sarcastic, I’m not. The chemistry between these guys is always on point and they always deliver a show-stealing performance. Everyone was watching this match wondering how these guys will outdo themselves again. This happened in the form of the Bludgeon Brothers.

Harper and Rowan crushed, killed, and destroyed EVERYONE. It was brutal. It was bad ass. It was a bludgeoning. The cherry on top was the sick powerbomb they delivered to Xavier Woods on the steel steps. It was later announced Woods was taken to a medical centre for potential spinal injury. Though it’s most likely just a fake injury for storyline purposes, I hope Woods isn’t being written off due to a legitimate injury. In any case, it looks like we might be getting ourselves a solid triple threat match at WrestleMania between The Usos, The New Day, and The Bludgeon Brothers. TLC please WWE? Thanks.

BB
There will be bludgeoning.

5) Charlotte Flair def Ruby Riott to retain the WWE SmackDown Women’s Championship. Before I break this down, I need to quote what House Mate (my housemate) and Big T (our full-time wrestling fan friend) predicted:

Big T: “They’ll be some form of shenanigans from the Riott Squad.”

House Mate: “It would be perfect if Asuka comes down to the ring after the match to challenge Charlotte Flair at WrestleMania.”

And now for the match. This was easily one of the best matches of the night, and one of the best women’s matches I’ve seen for a long time. I knew these two were going to put on a hell of a match and it didn’t disappoint. The Riott Squad did get involved (good guess, Big T) but they weren’t overly featured which was good. The focus was always on Charlotte and Ruby.

And when the match was done… the Women’s Royal Rumble winner Asuka came out to point at the WrestleMania sign (good guess, House Mate). That’s right people – we’re getting Charlotte Flair vs. Asuka at WrestleMania!

Asuka
#sploosh

Before the main event of the night, SmackDown Commissioner Shane McMahon headed down to the ring to most likely get involved in yet another main event. At this point, House Mate and Big T made correct predications, so now I was under pressure to predict something.

W.F. Thorne: “Shane’s going to interfere in the match. I’m thinking he’ll interrupt John Cena’s pinfall attempt to protect AJ Styles vs. Shinsuke Nakamura at WrestleMania.”

6) AJ Styles def. John Cena, Baron Corbin, Kevin Owens, Sami Zayn, and Dolph Ziggler to retain the WWE Championship. What a match! It was solid and fast paced from start to finish with not a dull moment to be found. There was a lot riding on this match for everyone, especially the fans. You had five people gunning for the WWE Championship, which means we would all lose the dream match between AJ Styles and Shinsuke Nakamura.

Everyone played their roles well. One of the highlights was when Zayn and Owens finally had the ring to themselves. Zayn laid down for Owens like he promised, but Owens didn’t believe him. After a failed roll up attempt by Zayn, the two brawled much to the delight of the crowd.

During the match Shane took an unintentional superkick from Owens, who was aiming at Zayn. Shane would proceed to interrupt Owens’ pinfall attempt to Ziggler, then Shane would interrupt Zayn’s pinfall attempt on Owens. This confused everyone and annoyed the hell out of us. Even Corey Graves and Byron Saxton, who are always arguing on commentary, agreed it made no sense at all.

The match would later end with AJ Styles picking up the win. While it was a monstrous sigh of relief, the win felt a bit cheap. AJ got put through an announce table half way during the match and was out of it from that point onwards. AJ coming in just to pick up the quick win felt a bit dirty and there wasn’t a real sense of him desperately trying to defend his title. We immediately forgot about this once this graphic appeared:

AJ
Confirmed: AJ Style vs. Shinsuke “Snickers” Nakamura at WrestleMania!

And with that, the entire wrestling community collectively splooshed for the second time tonight. Looking back on the match it makes sense while AJ Styles didn’t do much in this match – he needed to save his energy for the masterpiece that’s going to happen at WrestleMania.

So how did my predication go? Was I right? Let’s break it down:

“Shane’s going to interfere in the match…” Correct. That’s 1-0.

“I’m thinking he’ll interrupt John Cena’s pinfall…” Incorrect. 1-1.

“…to protect AJ Styles vs. Shinsuke Nakamura at WrestleMania.” AJ successfully defended his title, so this part is true. That’s 2-1, giving me a correct predication via split decision!

In all, Fastlane was a lot better than what I thought it was going to be. I had no expectations, but it delivered. I think the Six-Pack Challenge for the WWE Championship just edged out the SmackDown Women’s Championship match for being the best match of the night. I’d like to hear your thoughts on the show so leave your comments below!

See you all in a month’s time for my next WWE PPV review – WrestleMania!

 

Whatcha Writing There, Thorne? (5 Mar Book Update)

Howdy Thorne! Been doing much writing lately?

Yes, I have! The focus of the past week has been entirely on Encyclopedia Sarcadia.

Where are we at with Encyclopedia Sarcadia?

I’ve finishing writing up information on the remaining Tenebites who are part of the Synod.

The group rebelling against Elysia, Master of Tenebris, right?

That’s right.

Who are the final additions to the Synod?

We have Behemoths, Manticores, Gorgons, the Zahrakii, the Sitorians, Banshees, and the Tengu.

Sounds like you’ve been very busy! And to think, you’ve written up all of this while playing Path of Exile!

I know right? I’m happy with the amount of work I’ve done.

I’m sure most of us are familiar with Banshees and Gorgons, but tell us about the Zahrakii and the Sitorians.

The Zahrakii are serpent humanoids who have the upper body of a human and a lower body and head of a snake. They’ve had a long rivalry with the Gorgons over who the superior reptilian race of Tenebris is. They now find themselves united against the Drakonkin, another powerful race of serpent-like beings, who have pledged their allegiance to Elysia. In return, the Dark Mother has offered to help the Drakonkin enslave the Zahrakii and the Gorgons.

If I were a Drakonkin Elysia would have my vote! Let’s talk about this other group, the Sitorians.

The Sitorians are mysterious, giant humanoids who look like mummified corpses. They’re powerful necromancers who have only existed in Tenebris for around five thousand years. They kept out of the affairs of the other races and, in return, the other Tenebites stayed away from them. Normally the Sitorians and their undead armies would be engaged in battles against one another, but now they’ve united and sided with the Synod against the Dark Mother.

That’s a bit odd. Why would dead people want to do something like that?

No one knows. Some thinks it’s due to the lack of corpses on the battlefield since Elysia is taking them to feed her children. Others think something more sinister is going on.

Like what? Wait you’re not going to tell us, are you?

Nope. I’ll let the suspense build a bit. You can read a bit more about them in more detail when Encyclopedia Sarcadia is released.

Well, get back to writing then! Don’t keep us in suspense for too long!

Photo Credit @minan1398