Behind The Pixels – Mega Man 4

Behind the Pixels returns and what better way to get back into this series by kicking off from where we left off. If you haven’t read up on the previous installments, feel to click here for Mega Man 1, here for Mega Man 2, and here for Mega Man 3!

All caught up? Excellent! Let’s begin (again)!

It looked like everyone’s favourite 8-bit blue bomber was in for some serious vacation time with the death of Dr Wily, but Mega Man is back. Mega Man 4, or “Rockman 4: A New Evil Ambition!!” as it’s known in Japan, introduces us to a new, evil scientist.

Same old story, different evil scientist?

Somewhat. Mega Man 4 introduces us to Dr Cossack, a man who claims to be the greatest inventor in the world but is constantly being overlooked.

Dr Cossack? I take it he’s Russian?

I’m going to assume, yes. I say this because in the game manual mentions Cossack’s “Siberian citadel”. So yes, we have a Russian scientist called Dr Cossack. Very original name, right? It’s like naming an evil Japanese scientist Dr Shogun, or naming an evil Italian scientist Dr Roman.

Capcom if you’re reading this, let Dr Shogun and/or Dr Roman be the main antagonist/s for Mega Man 12! We know you’re going to make one eventually…

Until we get a Mega Man 12, let’s go back to Mega Man 4. Cossack sends his eight best robots to murder Mega Man to prove he’s better than Dr Light. Once he has killed Mega Man, Cossack intends on parading his robotic corpse around as proof he is the greatest of all time.

Holy sh*t! You’re making this up, right?

This can be found in the game manual. Imagine reading that as a kid. Cossack is going to put Mega Man’s body on display after his robots kill him. Don’t worry, Mega Man defeats the eight robots and battles the evil Cossack. That is, until Proto Man shows up with Cossack’s daughter, Kalinka.

Really? Kalinka? That’s like naming Dr Shogun’s daughter, Katana. Or naming Dr Roman’s daughter…

Mona Lisa?

I was gonna go with Arancini, but I guess Mona Lisa works too.

Cossack reveals he isn’t evil. Kalinka was kidnapped by the game’s real antagonist. He was being manipulated this whole time. The true mastermind behind the chaos was…

Let me guess, Dr Wily?

Correct. It was Dr Wily all along!

Why doesn’t that surprise me?

History repeats itself again as Mega Man defeats Wily, who escapes to fight another day.

For another seven games at the very least. Ok, so Wily’s back. The real question is, who designed the robots?

Cossack build them all.

Did Wily approve them all?

One would assume so. Why do I have a feeling you’re going to single out a specific robot and say Wily’s a dumb scientist?

It’s like you know me too well.

Let me guess, Skull Man?

Why would I not like Skull Man? He’s basically a death robot! My issue is with Bright Man.

What’s wrong with Bright Man?

He’s just a light bulb. I mean, there are a few other dumb ones in the mix in this game, but what’s the point of building a robot whose purpose is to light up a room?

To light up a room? You just answered your own question. When you think about it, if the very vulnerable light bulb on Bright Man’s head was to be destroyed, he’d be screwed. Your argument should’ve based on this huge design flaw.

Yeah… Well.. Your face is a huge design flaw.

Now who’s the one being unoriginal?

…Well that’s wrap for Mega Man 4. See you all next week for Mega Man 5!

I get to say that, not you!

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