Weekly Rassling Rundown 26 – 28 Mar

Welcome to this week’s Weekly Rassling Rundown. Let’s dive into this week’s WWE Raw, SmackDown, and NXT shows!

Raw Logo
Welcome everyone, to Monday Night RAW!
  • Brock Lesnar shows up on Raw two weeks in a row! That’s gotta be a new record for him.
  • We’re told Brock will be facing “the same Roman Reigns he beat up last week”. Is there a second Roman Reigns we didn’t know about?
  • Corey Graves says Brock’s attack on Roman was calculated. The Coach replies with, “You called it calculated, I call it perfect timing”. Coach, that’s exactly what a calculated attack means. You really are getting more stupid by the week, aren’t you?
  • Paul Heyman says Roman isn’t man enough to take another beating from Brock. Roman proves him wrong by doing this.
  • For a second week in a row, Brock can beatdown his opponent without any punishment or without anyone coming out to stop him. Listen up Kurt Angle, you need to protect Raw’s main event at WrestleMania. Even Shinsuke Nakamura and AJ Styles are looking after themselves on SmackDown!
  • I thought Nia Jax calling Alexa Bliss, a “little Bliss” was a clever way for her to get around the censors… Until she flat-out called her a “little bitch” which went uncensored anyway.
  • *Yawn* More recaps of Ronda
  • Stephanie McMahon is terrifyingly strong. Nice training montage on her part though if she really wanted to prove us she’s serious, she should’ve replicated the training montage her father did when he was training to fight Steve Austin back in the Attitude Era.
  • Stephanie & Triple H’s video package was much better than Angle & Ronda’s. Then again, if you’re the boss you only settle for the best.
  • Good to see the Cruiserweights back on Raw. I think the match between Cedric Alexander and Mustafa Ali will be great at WrestleMania.
  • “Cruiserweights have a tendency to steal the show,” Michael Cole said mere seconds before Raw cut to a commercial.
  • This week Raw was live from Cleveland, Ohio which is where The Miz lives. They obviously love their homeboy and showed this by chanting “Welcome Home”. How does The Miz respond? “I live in LA.” Cue immediate boos and jeers. This is why the Miz is awesome.
  • MizTV this week was perfect from start to finish. I honestly thought Curtis Axel and Bo Dallas were going to turn on The Miz. It felt like Miz was going to lose almost everything going into WrestleMania. Well done to the Miztourage for fooling everyone with their great acting, though it’s a shame we won’t get to see a “wrestling legacy tag team” in Curtis & Bo moving forward.
  • That was a nice, old school promo from Kane.
  • A “newcomer” called Jamie Frost talks about how she’s going to destroy Asuka. She then proceeds to get knocked out within five seconds by the Empress of Tomorrow. This is how they should’ve been building Asuka’s main roster run from the start.
  • Great, an unwanted recap of the unwanted Ultimate Deletion match.
  • Thankfully, Matt Hardy will be on the ARMBAR at WrestleMania.
  • “That was… OBNOXIOUS!” Well done Michael Cole for saying what I’ve been thinking (and hopefully a lot more people out there).
  • We’re constantly being told whoever wins the ARMBAR at WrestleMania goes on to “launch a successful career.” Cesaro won the first four years ago, and it took just as long for his success to kick off. Big Show won the second, but his career was always successful at this point. Baron Corbin and Mojo Rawley won the following two and… Yeah it doesn’t look good for this year’s winner. Prove me wrong guys! Prove me wrong…
  • Sasha Banks responses to Bayley’s text message by approaching her and telling her she got her text. You could’ve saved yourself a lot of time and just texted her back, Sasha.
  • “I can’t beat you?” a confused Sasha asked Bayley. That’s correct Sasha. It’s been proven you can’t beat her multiple times.
  • Damn, that was a brutal locker room brawl between Sasha and Bayley. I’m glad the referees broke them up instead of stopping Brock’s beatdown of Roman earlier.
  • While I’m happy for Braun to be getting a match at WrestleMania and potentially holding championship gold, I’m a bit annoyed about the situation with the Raw Tag Team Championship. It would’ve been better for the titles to be contested between two established tag teams. Isn’t that what the Tag Team Championship is about?
  • Ronda isn’t the baddest woman on the planet, Kurt. The honour should be going to either Holly Holm or Amanda Nunes.
  • Wow, Ronda’s makeup makes her look like she’s possessed by a conjunctivitis demon.
  • Why is Ronda still looking nervous when she comes out? She should be used to the crowd sizes, especially during her UFC days. If she’s this nervous on Raw, she’ll sh*t herself when she wrestles her first match at WrestleMania.
  • Ronda says Stephanie is tough but “she’s personal trainer tough”. I’m sorry Ronda, but at this stage Stephanie has a lot more wrestling experience than you, therefore making her more “wrestling tough” than you.
  • Paige still thinks the ring is her house. Someone needs to give her a lesson in real estate.
  • Ronda delivered an ugly looking suplex to Mandy Rose. It also looked like Mandy had to tell her what to do. At least that judo hip toss thing looked good. Did I name the move correctly? I guess I’ll wait for Ronda to judo-splain it to me.
  • If Cena wants a path to WrestleMania so badly, why doesn’t he just enter the ARMBAR?
  • I wonder if Luke Gallows’ educated feet went to the same school as Rob Van Dam’s.
  • “Why is John Cena disrespecting the Undertaker?” Even the WWE wants an answer to this.
  • They really need to reposition the Snickers logo when they’re running through the WrestleMania matches. It looks like AJ Styles will now be facing “Snickers Nakamura” instead of Shinsuke.
  • Annoying recap of Cena sh*ting on the Undertaker is annoying.
  • If you’re going to mock the Undertaker’s taunts Cena, you might not want to make it look like you’re constipated.
  • “You only care about yourself,” Cena said, completely forgetting he’s doing this because he’s desperate to secure himself a spot on the WrestleMania card.
Smackdown Logo
Welcome to SmackDown – The Land of Opportunity!
  • Nice video package of the Sami Zayn/Kevin Owens/Daniel Bryan segment from last week.
  • Randy Orton needs to decide whether he wants to have a shaved head or if he wants to let his hair grow out.
  • Damn it! Sunil’s too injured to wrestle?! This is unacceptable!
  • Rusev is Sunil’s replacement? I’m cool with this.
  • Orton doesn’t want to wrestle because his hoodie vest is still on.
  • Wow, did Tom Phillips really call Rusev, “Rudolph”?
  • Rusev got the pin on Orton?! Happy Rusev Day!
  • Jinder Mahal is apparently going to celebrate his potential US Title win more than his WWE Championship
  • WrestleMania has now officially been renamed RusevMania. Get ready for another t-shirt!
  • Shinsuke Nakamura’s English and promos have gotten so much better. They were good in NXT, but the improvement is great to see.
  • Becky Lynch picks up another win! That means she isn’t winning the Lady’s ARMBAR.
  • Daniel Bryan walks out wearing a cardigan, t-shirt and jeans. It looks like he just woke up very early on a Saturday and stumbled out of his house in the suburbs. He looks down at the Saturday morning newspaper thrown on his front lawn. He wearily walks out to collect it, inadvertently stepping in dog faeces generously left there by his next-door neighbour’s chihuahua. His frustration hits boiling point when he’s drenched by the sprinklers and runs back inside, complaining angrily to Brie Bella as she’s making vegan pancakes for breakfast. …That kinda went a bit too far, didn’t it? The point is, I think the world needs a gritty reboot of Beethoven.
  • Daniel Bryan reminds us we’re in Pittsburgh.
  • The crowd blending “You still got it” and “Daniel Bryan” chants made it sound like they were chanting “You Daniel Bryan”.
  • It’s ok Daniel, you can say ass. You can even say bitch or bastard. You just can’t say sh*t and F#$% on a PG show.
  • Cena’s being a very bad role model to everyone in the locker room. Now Shelton Benjamin & Chad Gable are crying about not having a match at WrestleMania so now they’re going to do whatever they need to do to get on it. Guys, it’s called the ARMBAR. Go sign up for it.
  • New Day, it’s not a good idea for you to be teasing the Bludgeon Brothers after what they did to you. It’s also annoying to see New Day reverting back to their joking ways to address the vicious beatdown they suffered at the hands of Harper and Rowan.
  • Apparently, Shane McMahon suffered diverticulitis and has a hernia from the beatdown he received from Owens and Zayn. WWE really need to start consulting a medical expert for their storylines.
  • Fandango got a good cardio work out.
  • The crowd doesn’t know if they should be booing Nakamura or Styles.
  • Great segment between Nakamura and Styles. Again, Nakamura’s microphone skills have vastly improved and him teasing the Kinshasa was fantastic.
NXT Logo
Meanwhile, at NXT…
  • Unsanctioned match between Johnny Gargano and Tommaso Ciampa at NXT Takeover? #sploosh
  • It’s good to see a second championship be brought in for NXT. As for calling it the “North American Championship”, I’m not 100% sure on the name, especially when you’re trying to put it on the same level as the UK Championship and say the title represents North America. Then again, the UK Championship won’t be used as a fill-in title, especially with rumours flying around the WWE UK show might finally be going head.
  • Mauro Ranallo doesn’t know what EC3 stands for. If he watched TNA, he’d known it stands for Ethan Carter III. Hell, even I knew what he stands for and I never watched TNA.
  • I don’t know what pissed me off more: TM61 trying get over in a backstage interview only to be interrupted by a fight between Shayna Baszler and Ember Moon, or Shayna Baszler being on my TV. There’s seriously too much focus on this match.
  • You only have yourself to blame for your loss, Montez Ford. Even Paul Ellering warned you not to go after him.
  • “You look well,” Velveteen Dream said to William Regal. “I know,” Mr Regal replied.
  • After watching many episodes of old school WWF, I’m convinced Lars Sullivan is Psycho Sid.
  • Andrade “Cien” Almas attacked Aleister Black so bad he tore his clothes apart.
  • NXT officials came out to stop Almas AFTER he attempts to drown him in an ice box full of water. What happened to that awesome security team last week?
  • I’m a bit annoyed at how Pete Dunne and Roderick Strong have gone through to the finals of the Dusty Rhodes Tag Team Classic. It looks like they’ll be winning the tournament and will face off against Undisputed Era at Takeover. The tournament should be used to honour the memory of Dusty Rhodes, and not be used to progress the storyline of what will be a quick and forgettable feud.

That’s all for this edition of WRR! Let me know when you thought of this week’s shows. Feedback is welcomed too! Thanks for reading and I’ll see you next week!

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