Welcome to this week’s Weekly Rassling Rundown. Let’s dive into this week’s WWE Raw, SmackDown, and NXT shows!
- Stephanie McMahon must’ve read my blog last week when she referenced how much child support Kurt Angle pays.
- Ronda Rousey wasted five minutes high-fiving every fan at ringside. Even Stephanie called her out for doing it.
- Ronda still looks like she’s going to burst out crying whenever people chant her name.
- Ronda can’t do drumrolls. She screwed up her announcement by naming Stephanie as her WrestleMania opponent as soon as the drumroll started.
- I think everyone saw Triple H & Stephanie McMahon vs. Kurt Angle & Ronda Rousey at WrestleMania coming. It’s a smart move honestly. Ronda’s probably too green to go into a match solo, so Triple H and Kurt Angle will be carrying most of it.
- Ronda’s only wrestling move at this stage is a Samoan drop, and a bad one at that.
- I’m really getting annoyed at how WWE are playing interviews in the middle of matches. It’s too distracting.
- Asuka vs. Nia Jax wasn’t as good as their previously encounters, though I thought the finish was good.
- It’s a shame the Revival aren’t facing The Bar at WrestleMania. Their match on Raw should’ve served as a teaser for things to come.
- John Cena has a shot at the WWE Championship which is a SmackDown title. This shot takes place on Fastlane, which is a SmackDown PPV. It’s totally logical for him to be on RAW INSTEAD OF BEING ON SMACKDOWN!
- Cena stated he “doesn’t take his free-agent status for granted”, yet he comes to Raw to promote his SmackDown PPV match…
- The reason why Cena came to Raw was to talk sh*t to his opponents who are on SmackDown, proving to everyone Cena is a coward who abuses his power.
- Cena implied him being in a triple threat match against AJ Styles and Shinsuke Nakamura would be more epic than just singles match between AJ and Shinsuke. Seriously, is this guy for real? He said this just moments before he told everyone “I never hold people back” and “I don’t abuse my powers”.
- Thank you Goldust for trying to save us from Cena’s bullsh*t. I can see him costing Cena the match at Fastlane, leading to a match between Goldust and Cena at WrestleMania.
- John Cena, the only wrestler I know who can kick out of a low blow. Insert your “he has no balls” joke here.
- Good to see Hillbilly Jim going into the WWE Hall of Fame! I thought he got inducted years ago.
- Bayley cried about how Sasha Banks kept turning on her during their matches, despite her informing everyone she knew they were “every woman for herself” scenarios. Stop crying Bayley and get over it! Maybe you should’ve taken advantage of your “friendship” with Sasha Bank, just how Sasha has been taking advantage of it for months.
- And the Oscar for Best Actress goes to… Nia Jax. Seriously, that was a great segment backstage. Alexa Bliss was great at being that fake, sincere friend and the water works Nia put on was believable. It reminded me a lot of Mark Henry’s awesome fake retirement angle.
- A recap of the opening segment played, and it featured the drumroll spot Ronda screwed up – but fixed! Seriously! It was correctly edited in the replay! I don’t get the point of it though since everyone witnessed the screw up.
- By the way, a “recap” shouldn’t be a “replay” of the entire segment.
- Elias is apparently a one -man orchestra.
- Braun Strowman is either a psychic or can teleport. I’m going with both.
- Australia is having a stadium show. Word going around is that it’ll take place in the MCG in Melbourne. If I were an Australian who lives in Melbourne, I’d totally be excited about it. Oh wait… I am… #sploosh
- Matt Hardy and Bray Wyatt don’t realise the Great War ended in 1918.
- The Miz proved he can do a drumroll better than Ronda.
- Whoever put together the Mizzie video packages deserves a raise and an induction into the WWE Hall of Fame. They were gold.
- Seth Rollins shaving his beard doesn’t make him look like CrossFit Jesus. That makes me a sad panda.
- “You won’t be competing against Seth Rollins. And you won’t be competing against Finn Balor. But, you will be competing against them in a Triple Threat match.” Kurt Angle, 2018. I seriously think it might be time for you to put down the microphone.
- Paul Heyman cut a good first promo, then knocked it out of the park with his second. It was interesting to hear Heyman tell everyone “the title is Brock Lesnar’s bitch”. Heyman done his job by getting people to boo Brock, and it showed when Roman Reigns came out to cheers. The build towards Roman vs. Brock is going very well.
- Well, that segment between Charlotte Flair and Ruby Riott was anticlimactic. Thank God the two will have a solid match at Fastlane.
- Sorry Sunil Singh, but you’re no Samir Singh on the mic.
- Champ sits at announce table. Wrestlers fight outside the ring. Challenger to the champion’s title throws his opponent into the champ. Classic booking.
- Jindal Mahal now has four victories over Randy Orton. I wonder who Orton will squash next in retaliation.
- I can’t wait for see Sami Zayn turn on Kevin Owens at Fastlane. This has been booked so well.
- Nakamura Day needs to be a thing. On a side note, Shinsuke has a hell of a voice. He needs to do a duet with Braun Strowman. Now THAT would be the ultimate WrestleMania moment.
- “You can’t just make up your own holiday, bro.” Rusev, 2018.
- I forgot Carmella won the Women’s Money in the Bank briefcase until she came out with it.
- We get to see Naomi & Becky Lynch vs. Natalya & Carmella for some reason at Fastlane. Good to see Becky in a PPV match, annoying to see Naomi in a PPV match.
- Hey look, the camera was set up outside in the perfect position at the perfect time to catch a “random guy” slipping on the snow! Hilarious!
- AJ Styles agrees with 99.99% of the WWE Universe – John Cena needs to stay the F@#$ out of the AJ Style vs. Shinsuke Nakamura match at WrestleMania.
- For some unexplained reason, Dolph Ziggler is now a heel.
- Zayn and Owens interrupt AJ and Ziggler’s match, which leads to Shane McMahon coming out to restart the match as a Fatal 5-Way between the four as well as Baron Corbin. That’s probably the first time Shane actually made the right call.
- Great Fatal 5-Way match and Zayn stealing the win by turning on Owens during the match was fantastic! My only issue was this isn’t the match on Fastlane, and Cena is going to steal the spotlight from everyone else.
- Authors of Pain vs. TM61 is a good way to kick off the Dusty Rhodes Tag Team Classic. A shame TM61 didn’t win the match. I picked them to win the tournament.
- I hope that confrontation between Pete Dunne and Adam Cole leads to them having a match.
- The lack of Bianca Belair whipping people with her hair disturbs me.
- Lacey Evans suddenly developed a Southern belle accent. It can’t hide how bad her promo skills are.
- Speaking of bad promo skills, Shayna Baszler still sucks. They are giving her way too much airtime.
- They say, “silence is golden”, which is exactly what Tommaso Ciampa’s segment was. It was perfect. The crowd HATE him so much for what he did to Johnny Gargano. Congratulations Ciampa, you’ll be hated by NXT fans for the rest of your life.
- Ciampa’s new t-shirt is awesome. It’s a shame it’s not for sale because Ciampa refused to have it be sold. Congratulations Ciampa, you’ll be hated by NXT fans for eternity.
- Pete Dunne will be defending the WWE UK Championship against Adam Cole. #sploosh
- Aleister Black vs. Killian Dain was solid. I’d like to see them clash in the ring again in the future.
- Aleister Black vs. Andrade “Cien” Almas for the NXT Championship should be amazing. I can’t wait for that match to happen!
That’s all for this edition of WRR! Let me know when you thought of this week’s shows. Feedback is welcomed too! Thanks for reading and I’ll see you next week!
W.F. Thorne 